The older we get, the nicer we get: study

Turning the stereotype of cranky seniors on its head, new international research concludes that people not only become kinder, more conscientious and agreeable with age, they also seek those same qualities in a mate.

The study, published in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, is the first to document universal shifts in attraction that occur over a lifespan, with the findings holding true across countries and cultures.

While trendiness and superficially sexy looks get tongues wagging among younger adults, researchers uncovered a shift in desire toward more “communal” traits — think sensitivity, friendliness and compassion — with the progression of time.

“It seems to happen gradually: for every year you age, the more you like these features” in a partner, says lead author Claudia Brumbaugh. “This is yet another way we focus on the positive as we get older.” The analysis included data from nearly 17,900 heterosexual adults worldwide — including 1,867 from Canada — who ranged in age from 18 right through their 90s.

Each of the participants took an online attraction survey in which roughly 100 photos of the opposite sex were viewed and rated for appeal. Participants were additionally asked to rate their general attraction to various partner traits, such as the magnetism of confidence or intelligence. And about half the sample took a short test to analyze their own personalities.

The results were compelling. Not only did age correlate positively with agreeableness and conscientiousness, as in previous research, it was clear that those same traits became more attractive in mates over time — and most pronouncedly among women.

In almost every region, female participants, with age, showed increased preference for men who looked sensitive, conventional, formal, intelligent, well-groomed and who were smiling. Across countries, they also showed decreasing preference for men who had a thinner frame, and who looked sexually suggestive and trendy. The researchers documented an age-related shift in men’s attraction to communal traits, though it was weaker and less consistent across cultures.

For Brumbaugh the results represent a bit of a chicken-or-the-egg dilemma. “We know people become more agree-able in their old age,” she says, noting that elderly people demonstrate a greater tendency for forgiveness, a higher likelihood of responding to happy faces over sad ones and greater sensitivity to benevolence. “But our findings bring into question why that happens: Do we just become that way naturally or do we become that way because the other sex demands it?”

We know people become more agreeable in their old age RESEARCHER CLAUDIA BRUMBAUGH