Man won’t let girlfriend meet pals — is he ashamed?

Q: My boyfriend of six months and I are both in our mid-20s.

The relationship’s been wonderful, but rough, since I have to help him along with his behaviour.

For example, some things he says and does can be quite harsh, and I have to ask, “Is that what you intended ... because you hurt my feelings?”

He’ll immediately say no and change his behaviour, and it’ll no longer be a problem.

Meanwhile, I’ve yet to feel integrated with his friends and family.

I feel that he keeps me separate from them, which therefore indicates he’s not that into me.

I’ve met a few of his friends, but he doesn’t invite me to friends’ birthdays, group outings, etc.

Yet I’ve invited him out with my friends several times, and we’ve gone.

His explanation for his exclusion: “I don’t want you to feel awkward.”

After we had the conversation, he’s been indicating that he’s trying to change (it’s been two weeks), but we haven’t been out with his friends, yet. He also said he’s going home for a few days for Christmas and he didn’t invite me.

This is OK — the relationship’s new — but I don’t feel he’s enthusiastic about me or wants me to meet the important people in his life.

Should I give him a chance to see where the relationship goes?

He also hasn’t told me he loves me yet, and it’s upsetting me.

I haven’t told him because I feel that he should say it first.

— Slow Buildup Hurts

A: Decide whether you feel he’s the right guy for you long-term, or if you’re mostly impatient to hear how he feels now.

If he’s the guy you want for sure, tell him so. His reaction will say a lot.

He may not be ready for as serious a commitment as you obviously are, even if he enjoys the relationship as it is right now.

Or, he’ll hear you say how much it matters to you to be included with his important people.

He’s a quick student to your behaviour lessons, so if he responds positively, you can be the first to use the L word.