Help kids be smart in digital world
Most children can’t comprehend a world without the Internet and technology, so it’s up to parents to teach them how to use screen time wisely, even if it means stashing their own smartphones to do it.
A new book, The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age, by Catherine SteinerAdair with Teresa H. Barker (HarperCollins), warns that our rampant use of technology is jeopardizing family connections.
Steiner-Adair is a clinical psychologist who teaches at Harvard Medical School and has a practice working with children and families. In her extensive research, she cites hundreds of sources and interviews more than 1,000 children (ages 4 to 18) and hundreds of parents and teachers from diverse backgrounds.
It’s a lot of information to download, but the author presents it in an organized way, separating chapters by children’s ages and including scores of real anecdotes to illustrate her points.
The candid responses from children — particularly teens — about their feelings when faced with technology dilemmas are eye-opening.
Steiner-Adair offers startling statistics on how much kids are using technology and calls the fast takeover of tech a “revolution” that’s subverted family life.
The book isn’t a condemnation of technology; it actually points out some of its virtues. SteinerAdair suggests video games can connect kids with peers and promote strategic thinking. And she says video chats with relatives far away can reinforce family ties and online friends can provide a healthy sense of belonging.
But too often children choose technology over imaginative play, reading and establishing real relationships through conversation and screen-free time. Many parents feel out of control when it comes to setting limits for tech use — especially when kids say they need it for homework.
Steiner-Adair warns that parents who choose not to pay attention are doing a disservice to their children. She provides discussion points that require kids to commit to transparency and respect for the privilege of computer use.
The book’s tone isn’t preachy or judgmental, but compassionate, suggesting we’re all in this together. It’s a slow read and takes patience to digest the research, but the author shares fascinating true stories from kids, parents and educators she’s helped through many technology-related crises.