He’s 39, his girlfriend is just 17
Q: I’m 39, charismatic and established in an exceptionally rewarding professional career. I interact routinely with the Who’s Who of Fortune 500 executives.
My current girlfriend’s exceptionally attractive and in her last year of high school. She’s 17. I’ve been dating her since she was 16. Despite our wide age gap, we share many common grounds — for example, we enjoy nightlife excursions, going out dancing, dining, and a penchant for fashion.
Yes, we’ve been intimate exclusively to one another (she’s only been intimate with me). We also agree on future prospects such as marriage, although her parents are unaware of our courtship.
I’m a youthful person who’s always been attracted to young women, not necessarily because of cosmetic and physical attributes, but more due to our interest in youthful activities.
For our corporate New Year’s Eve party, would it be wise to take her, given that it might cause some gossip-mongering? She doesn’t have to disclose her age and she doesn’t consume any alcohol.
Several executives are married to much younger women, but I don’t intend to brandish her as arm candy. I just want to attend the party with the love of my life.
— Party Dilemma
A: Admitting that you’ve kept your relationship from her parents shows that both you and this teenager know what you’re doing is “exceptionally” inappropriate and deceitful.
Gossip about age gap is your least worry — it’s your judgment and integrity that’ll be questioned, regarding an obviously unequal relationship.
Your youthfulness is no excuse. It’s her lack of life experience and your far greater power that amount to your taking advantage of her. And, damaging her relationship with her parents.
A 15-year-old would enjoy nightlife and dancing too, but consensual sex is illegal in Canada with someone five-plus years older, until age 16. The legal age varies in American states between 16 and 18, so don’t take her to Florida, California, etc. where you can be charged.
Do not take her to the party. A 22-year gap works when both are mature and experienced to make the choice. But can you handle equal status with a grown woman?