Leave ball in co-worker’s court
Q: I’ve been working with this very beautiful co-worker for two months, and I’ve been attracted to her from the start. We clicked immediately.
I didn’t know if she liked me, so I kept my feelings superficial to avoid any pain.
Recently, we were texting and she mentioned a weird dream about me. She hesitated to repeat it. I finally got her comfortable enough to tell me the whole thing. In the dream she sits next to me on a bench. She says she’s cold so I put my arm around her. We go to my car to get her warmer. We end up having sex in the driver’s seat.
In reality, she has a boyfriend. She admitted that if she weren’t with him, she’d go out with me. She also said she doesn’t trust him because he’s cheated a couple of times, but she loves him and is giving him one more chance.
Since telling me this, she’s been a little weird. She’s a loud, charismatic girl but recently she’s been saying very little, just gives this subtle smile all the time.
I’ve played it right so far, but I’m lost now. Should I put myself out there and say she should be with me instead of her boyfriend, or sit back and wait until they break up? Or not even waste my time?
— My Next Move?
A: She’s waiting for her boyfriend to mess up again, or not. You shouldn’t also be waiting for him to decide your next move — so make one.
Tell her you’re very attracted to her and would like to date her when or if she’s free. Then step back.
You don’t want to be the guy she uses to make her boyfriend jealous, to keep him committed. And you don’t want to start something as her transition guy from the last one.
Stay friendly at work, but do not encourage the sexting about dreams. They give you false hope.
Tell her you think that if you two date it could be special.
But until then, you’ll consider her attached and you’ll date others.