Looking for a hot team in cold climes
It’s playoff time! That magical time of year when some billionaires fire some of their key employees, and other billionaires are excited! Unfortunately, the people of Green Bay don’t seem quite as excited as usual at the moment, and are not firing anybody. They must not be billionaires, which as many of us know, is a shame.
The Green Bay-San Francisco wild-card game Sunday needed an extension to get close to a sellout, probably partly because it will be the kind of cold that makes you panic when you take a wrong turn and have to walk an extra block. Also, the prices. The games in Indianapolis and Cincinnati were also not sold out as Friday dawned, and lacked the same excuse. Jeez, the Colts play in a dome, and needed a corporate sponsor to buy the last tickets. You were supposed to be hardy, Indiana.
Anyway, this situation raised the possibility of local TV blackouts, which is a charming and antiquated NFL blackmail technique that existed long before the people of Cincinnati threw what became $555-million of public money into their stadium, and the people of Indianapolis put what has become more than $665-million of public money into their stadium.
It was also before the good people of Green Bay and beyond bought completely worthless $250 shares in the Packers, which gives the purchasers neither equity nor voting rights. But they DO get a handsome certificate, which can probably be burned to stay warm, in a pinch.
That bit of billionaire perfidy aside, it’s playoff time, so after counting all the coaches who were fired, this is the time of year where we all attempt to identify The Hot Team. We are looking for last year’s Baltimore Ravens, who had the fifth-best record in the AFC; the New York Giants from the year before, who were 9-7; the Packers from the year before, who were a sixth seed. The Super Bowl is often won by The Hot Team, which usually includes a Hot Quarterback, metaphorically speaking. Joe Flacco and Eli Manning combined for 20 touchdowns and one interception in their respective Super Bowl runs. They combined for 37 touchdowns and 49 interceptions this season. Heat cools, man.
But Green Bay just got Aaron Rodgers back, who at his best might be the best quarterback going, and, hey, the Packers made the playoffs despite Scott Tolzien, Matt Flynn and Seneca Wallace throwing nearly half their passes. On the other hand, they got there despite a defence that allowed more points than the Dallas Cowboys, and more yards per game than the Washington Redskins.
Still, Rodgers closed the season-ender by killing Chicago with flair, and the Packers are getting healthy. Could be hot.
OK, who else? San Francisco could be hot: The 49ers won six in a row down the stretch, including one against Seattle, and had receiver Michael Crabtree back for five of them, giving them a smallish wide receiver to throw to three times from the five-yard line with the Super Bowl on the line, should it come to that. But a losing team hasn’t returned to the Super Bowl since the Buffalo Bills, back when the world was young.
Kansas City? Well, the Chiefs lost five games to playoff teams (and won one, against Philadelphia, before they replaced Michael Vick with Nick Foles), and lost four of their last six, and then tanked in Week 17. Not hot. They’re playing Indianapolis, and the Colts won three straight to end the season, and four of five, one of which was over Kansas City. One of the last wins was against Houston, though, and one was Jacksonville. That’s a pretty low bar for hot. That’s a bagel you left in the microwave an hour ago.
What about Cincinnati? Like New England, the Bengals only played four playoff teams all season; unlike New England, they beat them all. Of course, that meant they lost to five non-playoff teams, but they also won five of their last six, including wins at San Diego and over Indianapolis. Cincinnati is never a hot team, though. It’s just not how it works. Sorry.
Maybe Philadelphia and New Orleans? The Eagles have won seven of eight, and the Saints have won two of five, and as The New York Times noted, teams that play in domes are 3-22 alltime playing in freezing temperatures. There’s a blizzard coming through Philly. Hmm. The Eagles could qualify.
And then there’s San Diego. Four straight wins to end the season, including becoming the only team to beat Denver in Denver, and a big comeback to win in Kansas City a couple games before that. Also, they were one of two teams to lose to Houston, and one of three teams to lose to Washington, and one of four teams to lose to Oakland. Golly, it looks bad when you put it like that.
As well, they got in because they got away with lining up seven men on one side of the ball during Kansas City’s game-winning field goal attempt last week, one more than allowed, and the kick went wide, and the officials didn’t notice. So basically, they should not be here. Pittsburgh should be here. The NFL already apologized for it.
Hell, San Diego has 37 players who have never been in a playoff game. So, it’s probably time. Also, Jeff Triplette is the referee for Bengals-Chargers, and he might call the game for the Chargers even if the Bengals win.
Last week, this space went 6-10, and remains short of billionaire status. Time to fire the coach. As always, all lines could change. THE PICKS Kansas City (-1.5) at Indianapolis
Pick: Kansas City 23, Indianapolis 19
New Orleans (-2.5) at Philadelphia
Pick: Philadelphia 27, New Orleans 24 San Diego (+7) at Cincinnati Pick: San Diego 30, Cincinnati 24
San Francisco (-3) at Green Bay
Pick: San Francisco 21, Green Bay 17 Last week: 6-10 Season: 119-129-7