A PAINFUL GOODBYE
MOURNERS TURN OUT TO REMEMBER KATHRYN AND ALVIN LIKNES
Theirs was a solid and happy union, a decades- long bond that included a shared love of dancing, sports, cooking and their blended family of six children that, in time, would include 16 grandchildren.
Most Canadians are familiar with the faces of Kathryn and Alvin Liknes and their five- year- old grandson, Nathan O’Brien. Over several weeks this summer, they looked out at us from the front pages of newspapers, on roadside billboards and store- window posters.
On Saturday morning, family and friends said a final goodbye to the couple in a moving memorial service at Calgary’s First Alliance Church attended by more than 400 mourners.
The trio’s mysterious disappearance sometime after the evening of June 30 precipitated the longest Amber Alert in the country’s history and a futile search involving hundreds of police officers and citizens. While their bodies have not been found, in July, 54- year- old Douglas Garland — a man said to have both personal and business connections with the Liknes family — was charged with two counts of first- degree murder in their deaths and one count of seconddegree murder in the death of the little boy.
For those who knew and loved them, the unanswered questions have made for a torturous summer. On Saturday, though, they temporarily put aside their inner torment and shared with one another, and the greater community, just what a terrible loss it is.
One by one, they courageously walked to the podium to share memories beautiful, funny and heartbreaking. Jennifer O’Brien, who in one fell swoop lost her little boy and her parents, talked of the last day she spent with them.
Five- year- old Nathan had a choice between a trip to the zoo to see the Komodo dragons, or a day spent with his grandparents. He chose the latter, playing with his 66- year- old grandfather in the park behind their house, helping his 53- year- old grandma sell household items at an estate sale.
“It was a memory I will forever cherish,” O’Brien said of a busy day that ended with a dinner of takeout Chinese food, a movie and a family hug session on the couch.
After months of praying for a miracle, Jennifer O’Brien — the strong young mother who in June was optimistic they would be found — is among those who have set aside one hope for a new one.
“My mom was a warm, compassionate and vibrant woman who always went out of her way to help others,” she said. “I will honour my mom by showing love to all children, greeting people with a warm smile — and work toward enjoying my life again.”
For those who weren’t lucky enough to know the couple, the service brought to vibrant life their unique personalities. Son Jeff Liknes told of a mother who would talk about life plans over long lunches, a dad who spent many a wonderful day on the golf links. He elicited much- needed laughter when he talked about when he and his dad watched Nathan as a baby, his father joking about how Nathan’s smelly diaper was “not bad when you’re in the wind.”
With her husband Rod holding her as she stopped to wipe tears, Jennifer O’Brien remembered a mother and grandmother who perfected the art of the “running hug,” who loved to laugh, sing and dance for hours with her grandsons in her living room.
Alvin’s son Allen and his sister Nancy told of a strong, patient and involved father who taught them to ski, water ski and always firmly believed, said Nancy, “all of his kids could do anything.”
Cherri Hodgins shared an amusing story about how three decades earlier, her childhood friend Kathy saw a handsome man in the elevator at the building where she worked and soon found herself at his office, holding out her hand and saying, “Hi, I’m Kathy Prevost and I’d like to take you out for a drink.”
James Kulus described Alvin as “one of the most honest and smartest men I ever met,” before he broke down as he described recently walking across the sidewalk his friend helped him put together in early June, knowing he “would never walk on that sidewalk again.”
Reverend John Pentland of Hillhurst United Church, who has a long connection with the family, spoke of the “summer of tears” for a city and country, of a family and community still “trying to make sense of a senseless event.”
Nearly 90 days after their disappearance, so many still struggle with the mystery of what happened to Kathryn, Alvin and Nathan, of the power that such a horrific crime can have.
The only thing for certain is that they were dearly loved, that Kathryn and Alvin were incredible friends, parents and community members — and that their family and friends have said goodbye to them with a tribute that helps them, and their greater community, work together toward healing.