Be very selective when dating online

Q: I met a man online after the breakup of my marriage and fell for him. We had common interests in music, movies, books and taking long walks.

After two dates, I was sure. We met every night for two weeks, were intimate, and it was great. But then I noticed we weren’t going out for music, movies or walks in a park.

When I said something, he called me “demanding, just like all the other spoiled women.” I was shocked. He didn’t call for two days. He invited me over again. We had sex, and then he said: “It’s over.”

I feel like I ran into a truck.

— Wounded and Confused

A: The “truck” was anger-fuelled, driven by a misogynous man who uses the Internet to meet women for sex.

Be more selective when dating online.

Q: My daughter’s dating someone long- distance and planning on him coming to Canada to live with her. She met him in the United States when she was working there. They’re talking about his coming here as a visitor and staying illegally.

She says they’re too impatient to go through the formal process.

My daughter dismisses my concerns. She’s already lined up work- for- cash for him in a business that hires illegals because they can pay them less.

I don’t know what to say to her to stop this plan.

— Very Concerned Mom

A: Draw your line in the sand with your daughter. She needs to know she’s on her own.

Tell her you won’t be financially responsible for him if he loses his job, or needs legal help.

Q: My neighbour, a divorced woman younger than me, invited my partner to join her bridge club. She sent him an email saying she’d be “happy to drive together and grab a bite with ( him) after playing.”

What do I say to him without sounding controlling?

— Upset and Uncomfortable

A: Tell him you trust him, but not her. Simply state your discomfort about it.

TIP OF THE DAY

When you’ve met someone online, it’s only the beginning of getting to know a stranger.