LEADER OF THE PAC- MAN
Pixels waxes nostalgic
Here’s a far- fetched concept for you: In 1982, the winners of a video- game championship had their achievements videotaped and sent into space aboard a probe that somehow wound up in the hands of aliens. They took the blasting of space invaders as a personal affront, and have now mounted a retaliatory attack on Earth.
The gamers, one of whom ( Kevin James) is now the U. S. president, must use their mad skills to defeat the extraterrestrials, who assault our planet in the form of real- life versions of Pac- Man, Centipede, Pong, Donkey Kong, etc. Only by playing out these ancient computer games with light- emitting blasters on the streets of New York and Washington can our planet be saved.
I know. Kevin James as president?
In fact, the Jamesian regime is one of a number of mini- plots that seem to have been cobbled together to create a mildly amusing nostalgia trip, and probably the funniest movie ever to feature both James and Adam Sandler. ( That’s not a high bar.)
There’s also Sandler as a tech nerd who falls for an outof- his- league lady ( Michelle Monaghan). And Josh Gad as the shy loner who grew into an adult version of the same creature, and now must find his way out of his shell.
That leaves Peter Dinklage as Eddie “The Fire Blaster” Plant, an amalgam of the type of real- life gamers seen in such documentaries as 2007’ s King of Kong or Chasing Ghosts. He also seems to be channelling the voice of Barry White, and tells detractors in resonant tones that it doesn’t really matter if he made up his nickname himself; it still counts.
The real inspiration for Pixels is the short film of the same name by Patrick Jean — Google “Pixels short” and you’ll find it, two minutes and 34 seconds of anarchic, creative joy. The short has little in the way of plot, which meant scribes Timothy Dowling ( Role Models, Just Go with It) and Tim Herlihy ( everything else) had to cook up a story beefy enough to fill up an additional 103 ½ minutes.
They almost manage it. After a Grown Ups- style prologue that sees young actors playing the main cast members in 1982, the movie shifts to the present day, with Sandler as Brenner, a guy who can set up your new home entertainment system.
In his orange uniform he looks like he has a get- into- jail- free card, but somehow he maintains a close friendship with President Cooper ( James). The two are so tight that, when a U. S. military base in Guam is attacked, the president’s first move is to call his buddy Brenner. He also brings in Lt.- Col. Violet van Patten ( Monaghan).
The aliens communicate through video recreations of such ’ 80s icons as Ronald Reagan and Mr. Roarke, with their ultimatum being delivered by Hall and Oates, which feels about right.
It’s worth noting that some of the references actually come from after 1982 — Max Headroom and the Where’s the Beef lady didn’t appear until ’ 84, and neither did Tetris, but the vision of highrise meets low- rez was probably too tempting to let go.
Director Chris Columbus ( Harry Potter 1& 2) lets the scenes play out, often a bit too loosely, to encompass random moments of karaoke, out- of- character speeches and shots of military types ( Sean Bean, Brian Cox, etc.) looking grumpy at having their world- saving jobs made redundant by a bunch of nerds.
Not sure what Tom McCarthy is doing in a robot suit, or why Dinklage’s character has a thing for Serena Williams and/ or Martha Stewart, but maybe it’s best to let such moments pass without remark.
Anyone who lived through the ’ 80s knows that not everything that happened in that decade made perfect sense.