The future holds more stuff we can’t live without

On my way to buy a new self- heating butter knife

I’ve spent weekends this summer in a lovely, remote country house with one tiny catastrophic 21st century flaw: bad Internet.

It doesn’t work when it’s too rainy, or too cloudy, too dark or too sunny — or just when it’s not in the mood.

One recent Saturday morning, three of us were prowling around trying to find decent reception, and our conversation sounded like this: “Any luck out there on the balcony?”

“Maybe! ... My phone’s showing two bars of service strength, now rising to three! ... Damn! Some birds just chirped and it crashed ... You?”

“I’ve found a good spot over by the bathroom window. If I keep my phone way over my head, at a 45- degree angle ... I almost get a weak signal.”

This conversation dragged on until we finally realized we’d spent an hour talking about getting online, instead of being on it. It was like time- travelling back to the early 1990s — only we didn’t complain then, because getting on the Web even briefly seemed a miracle.

But in today’s ultra- uber- fast- changing world, once you’re used to having something, it instantly becomes one of the things you suddenly can’t live without.

Like many, I’m addicted to Google, because without it, my brain seems to shrivel by 95 per cent. My iPad has become an extra brain lobe, the one that now stores all information, instead of my memory.

I’m also addicted to my GPS for driving directions and couldn’t get around without it. I rely on it so totally, I’ve lost all remnants of my bad sense of direction.

But it’s not just big things we can’t live without, it’s small stuff, too.

My phone has a flashlight app that lets me read menus with small English print in dark restaurants. Until a few years ago, I never dreamed I needed a pocket flashlight, but now I’d starve without one.

Every year brings more things you suddenly can’t live without. I just read about a new device — a self- heating butter knife that warms your butter as it spreads on toast.

No more waiting for your refrigerated butter to warm in the butter dish each morning. No more even having a butter dish. This knife is so absurd, I have only one thought: Where do I get one?

What else will the future bring that we suddenly can’t live without? I foresee:

The wireless world will actually become wireless, eliminating the vast tangles of wires, cables and cords that litter our “wireless” homes. Eventually, a house with tangled wires on the floor will seem as scary as seeing giant live electricity cables snaking down your hall.

Driverless cars will be so common that young people brought up in them will view driving as an ancient skill, as intimidating as driving a stagecoach or Roman chariot. Even ex- drivers won’t believe they once spent hours behind the wheel instead of in back, where they can watch 148- inch holograph TV screens, while irradiating dinner in their car’s spacious kitchen.

Health apps monitoring your biology 24/ 7 via your watch, phone or underwear will be so routine, that when one occasionally breaks, you’ll rush panic- stricken to the superhospital: “Quick! I need a doctor! My pulse hasn’t been checked for seven hours, my footsteps haven’t been counted in over a week. I don’t even know what I weighed this morning! Help!”

Not wearing a car helmet will seem as dangerous and unthinkable as skydiving without a parachute.

Now excuse me, I’m off to buy that melting butter knife.

Even ex- drivers won’t believe they once spent hours behind the wheel instead of in back.