FACING THEIR TRAGEDY WITH COURAGE, GRACE
Hospice Calgary helps terminal cancer patient and his wife cope with illness
He knew it from the first moment he saw her.
“I was outside repairing a pump, she came by and said, ‘Hi,’” recalls Gerry Anderson of that day when he was a young man working for an Edmonton oil and gas company. “I spent the next while trying to talk her into letting me give her a ride home.”
When asked if cupid’s arrow also struck her instantly, his wife shrugs. “Well, he had a car,” she says with a wry smile. “And he was tall.”
More than a half-century after their first meeting, Gerry and Anita Anderson are still clearly a going concern. As we sit in their charming southwest home on Friday morning, the two laugh easily as they share stories about their early years.
When the conversation turns to more recent events, though, their expressions become at times pained, to the point where each gets teary-eyed as they recall pivotal moments. That’s because since 2014, Gerry has been staring death in the face.
“They told him he had six months to a year,” says Anita. “That was two years ago.”
While he may have defied doctors’ timelines for his terminal illness, Gerry knows it’s something he can’t avoid for much longer.
“Either my heart will give out first,” says the 77-year-old with a sigh as he relaxes on his easy chair. “Or the cancer will get me.”
Still, the couple, married 52 years, is weathering this most challenging storm with grace, courage and good humour, focusing on the present rather than the uncertain future.
It’s an inspiring attitude for which they take none of the credit. “It was a lifesaver,” says Gerry of the support group he joined 15 months ago offered by Hospice Calgary.
On Monday, Hospice Calgary will hold a media event to announce the 11th annual Hike for Hospice (hospicecalgary.com), which takes place May 1.
Each year, the hike brings out hundreds of Calgarians and helps to raise money to keep Hospice Calgary’s many invaluable programs and services going, everything from grief counselling for children and teens, to the group which the Andersons belong to, the Living with Cancer program.
In 2014, Gerry’s terminal diagnosis was a tragic interruption to a busy, happy life.
“We took the kids on trips to Disneyland,” says Anita of their three now-grown daughters. “Lots of fun times at Shuswap lake, too.”
When he retired at age 60, Gerry and his wife took golfing vacations and trips to wherever the fishing was good. “Palm Springs and Phoenix are favourite spots,” says Anita.
Then came the cancer diagnosis after Gerry underwent a colonoscopy. “It was bad news,” he says. “I had a mass on my colon. Four of them, in fact.”
The physical illness was soon joined by an emotional one, as Gerry found himself obsessing over his impending mortality.
“I sat in a chair for a year,” says the grandfather of three. “I didn’t do anything, just sat there every day.”
His palliative home-care nurse, seeing the impact of his depression on his overall health, suggested he visit the Sage Centre, Hospice Calgary’s southeast facility where most of its programs are held. “She brought it up every time she saw me,” he says with a smile. “I finally thought, ‘OK, we’ll check it out.’”
After just one session of group therapy with others facing a terminal diagnosis, Gerry decided “this was a no-brainer. I was meeting people in the same boat as me, but they were teasing, laughing, coping. I had a great time.”
For his wife, the weekly sessions also provided a lifeline. “The people there are just so compassionate, so helpful,” says Anita, wiping tears from her eyes as she talks about the effect it’s had on her. “It reminds us that we’re not alone and it’s also brought Gerry and I even closer together.”
While Gerry can’t join the Hike for Hospice fundraiser in May, he says the least he can do is tell his story, so people can understand how important Hospice Calgary can be for those facing death.
“I can’t change what is going to happen,” he says, as Anita, the woman he fell in love with at first sight more than 50 years ago, looks lovingly his way. “But it’s changed my life.”
The people there are just so compassionate, so helpful. It reminds us that we’re not alone and it’s also brought Gerry and I even closer together.