Star Mad Steam Max Punk Wars

Mortal Engines an overstuffed mashup without original ideas

MORTAL ENGINES ★ 1/2outof5

Cast: Hera Hilmar, Robert Sheehan, Hugo Weaving, Jihae

Director: Christian Rivers

Duration: 2h8m

The notion of cities on tank treads, rolling around and ingesting the landscape in front of them, could function as an apt metaphor for the excesses of the Hollywood franchise machine; endless appetite coupled with voracious recycling.

So it should surprise no one that Mortal Engines is such a beast itself.

Though based on a 2001 novel by Philip Reeve, this Mad Max steampunk affair gradually steals more and more shots, lines, props, wardrobe and plot points from the first Star Wars trilogy, until you’re prepared for someone to draw a lightsaber or head to Mos Eisley.

The film is a Peter Jackson production, co-written by Jackson and partners Fran Walsh and Philippa Boyens, and directed by Hobbit second-unit helmer Christian Rivers.

Set a thousand years after something called the “Sixty Minute War” devastated civilization (and presumably Sunday night TV ratings), it features a wheeled City of London rampaging across Europe.

How did it get there, you ask, what with the Channel and Brexit? Two words: Land Bridge. Or, if you like, one word: Landbridge.

Thaddeus Valentine (Hugo Weaving) is at the helm, but is almost killed by Hester Shaw (Hera Hilmar), who he once knew and left with a nasty scar and a tragic backstory.

She escapes accompanied by city-dweller Tom Natsworthy (Robert Sheehan), who gradually learns that London isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Among other things, Thaddeus is trying to resurrect ancient technology to make his city the fittest player in this game of “municipal Darwinism.”

Hester is also being chased by Shrike, an undead robot that you could build yourself with bits of Bill Nighy, a Terminator and some green Christmas lights.

But she has a friend in the mysterious Anna Fang, played by ethereal Korean singer-songwriter Jihae. Anna flies her airship to Airhaven, a huge floating city that looks like a special effect waiting to happen.

The film is gorgeous to look at, particularly in the early going before you start playing spot-the- Star-Wars reference.

At least $18 million of its $100-million budget must have gone toward bric-abrac, and it would have been amazing to see what a visual director like Terry Gilliam could have done with this overstuffed tale.

Alas, Rivers plays it safe, the by-the-numbers script backed by take-you-by-thehand editing, and a style of shooting I’m going to call cinematobvious. No memory can be recalled without an extended flashback.

The title, by the way, comes from a line from Shakespeare’s Othello.

I’m just glad the filmmakers didn’t get their hands on Dickens. I would not want to see A Tale of Two Cities viewed through this fractured lens.