A LOOK AT CELIBACY AND ITS DISCONTENTS
Number of people having no sex on rise but not all happy about it
The recent release of the Batman-themed movie Joker came with unprecedented security at theatres around the world, especially in the United States. A rather scary memo from the U.S. Department of the Army in Fort Sill, Okla., is making the rounds on the internet. It advises service members to exercise caution, warning of “a credible potential mass shooting during the release of the new Joker movie” and citing “very specific chatter in the dark web” as the source.
In the back of everyone’s mind is the July 20, 2012, mass shooting in Aurora, Colo., during the screening of another Batman movie. James Holmes, the confessed shooter, killed 12 people and injured 57. He is now serving 12 life sentences without the possibility of parole, having avoided the death penalty in a deal based on his unhinged mental state at the time.
In his notebook, which became evidence in the trial, Holmes documented his failures with women and employment, although he said these “were expediting catalysts, not the reason” for his violent rampage. This hasn’t stopped the so-called “incel movement” from turning him into a kind of hero. Involuntary celibates are men who feel they are downtrodden losers, spurned by women and mocked by more powerful men. They even have names for their tormentors, calling ultrafeminine women Stacys and muscular studs Chads.
Movie reviewers have noted that Arthur Fleck, the Joker character played by Joaquin Phoenix, doesn’t call himself an incel, but certainly acts very much like one. In interviews, Phoenix has avoided putting an incel spin on his character, in one case ending the interview when the subject came up.
But is celibacy such a terrible thing?
Let’s hope not, because it seems to be catching on. A large study of American adults showed that 15.2 per cent of males and 26.7 per cent of females reported having no sex in 2018. That’s an all-time high and the Canadian figures are probably comparable. Men under 30 seem to be leading the charge to celibacy, with 28 per cent reporting no sex in the previous year. That’s almost triple the 2008 figure, though perhaps guys are just getting more honest.
There’s also evidence that those who do have sex are doing it less often. Jean M. Twenge of San Diego State University crunched those numbers and found that, on average, “American adults had sex about nine fewer times per year in the early 2010s compared to the late 1990s.”
Explanations for the sex drought include declining job prospects, since having a career promotes stable relationships, and living with Mom and Dad, which tends to put a damper on things. Technology may also be a culprit if your partner considers Facebook more appealing than you in the bedroom.
Are there medical concerns for men who abstain from sex?
On the psychological side, the data seems to say no. An analysis of the U.S. General Social Survey — National Death Index 2008 data set by Jean H. Kim at the Chinese University of Hong Kong concluded that “Sexless Americans reported very similar happiness levels as their sexually active counterparts.”
However, there are wellknown physical benefits from having sex, ranging from releasing oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, to boosting your libido. Yes, doing it makes you want to do it more. So perhaps some of those people who reported happy celibacy were fooling themselves.
As for the plumbing issues, there is good evidence that men who reached orgasm 21 times or more per month had a significantly lower risk of prostate cancer than those who did four to seven times per month. Writing in the journal European Urology, Harvard’s Jennifer Rider suggests that “More frequent ejaculation in the absence of risky sexual behaviours could represent an important means of reducing the profound medical costs and physical and psychological side-effects of unnecessary (prostate cancer) diagnosis and treatment of low-risk tumours, even though it appears to be less strongly associated with aggressive disease.”
Since these researchers just counted ejaculations, without investigating what inspired them, it seems that masturbation would provide similar benefits.
Given the sex drought data, solo sex probably helped many guys get over that 21 per month threshold. Other studies have shown that masturbation also has some of the stress-relieving properties of partner sex, for both men and women.
However, going solo won’t bring you other sexy benefits such as strengthening your immune system, lowering your systolic blood pressure and improving your cardiac fitness. For those perks, you’re going to need a partner. And despite its box office success, Joker might not be the perfect date movie.
Dr. Tom Keenan is an award-winning journalist, public speaker, professor in the School of Architecture, Planning and Landscape at the University of Calgary, and author of the bestselling book, Technocreep: The Surrender of Privacy and the Capitalization of Intimacy.