Alpina’s XB7: The beast of an SUV that BMW didn’t build

Say you’re BMW, and you’re unwilling to produce a true M-badged large SUV. What do you do to satisfy the demand from you clientele for an even faster, more luxurious sport brute?

Well, you turn to Alpina. While Alpina is recognized as a completely separate automaker, BMW does assemble some of the company’s cars with parts sent to its factories from Alpina. Hence, the new 2021 Alpina XB7, an even more luxurious and powerful version of BMW’S flagship SUV.

Starting with BMW’S top-flight engine — the 523-horsepower 4.4-litre twin-turbocharged V-8 with 553-pound-feet of torque — Alpina massages both turbochargers and the cooling system to pump out a stellar 612 hp and 590 lb-ft of torque.

That makes the XB7 one giant SUV capable of accelerating to 100 kilometres per hour from zero in 4.2 seconds, and scamper a full quarter mile in just 12.6 seconds. A contextual note here: one of the biggest, baddest muscle cars of yore, the 1969 Chevy Camaro ZL1, needed a little over 13 seconds to trip the lights fantastic. Indeed, so endowed is BMW’S beastly SUV it needs to be “limited” to a 290 km/h top speed, lest it melt its tires.

Alpina doesn’t stop there. The X7’s eight-speed automatic transmission gets beefed up and the driver gets Alpina’s Switch-tronic wheel-mounted shift buttons. It also gets a larger oil sump so it can survive all that extra power. The XB7 has a beefier limited-slip rear axle — Alpina claims 1,475 pound-feet of “locking” torque — to better handle the engine’s greater twist.

The XB7’S suspension also gets beefed-up and rejigged dampers and springing. More importantly, said air suspension can be dramatically lowered for greater stability at speed. So at speeds above 160 km/h, the XB7 hunkers down some 20 millimetres. Push it past 250 km/h and it squats down another 20 mm (40 mm in all, or about as much as a Mclaren Senna does in Race mode) for seriously ground-hugging aerodynamics.

The XB7 runs on gargantuan 23-inch wheels.

Because it wouldn’t be an Alpina without some truly outrageous hedonism inside, the XB7’S Merino leather seats, Alcantara headliner and leather instrument panel are joined by a Panorama

Sky Lounge LED Roof which, according to BMW Canada, has LED lighting spread across the “roof’s glass surfaces to illuminate more than 15,000 graphic patterns and generate a display reminiscent of a starlit sky.”

It will be sold through select BMW dealers in Canada. No price has been set, but don’t expect much change from $150,000.