Grieving parents sue funeral home for discarding baby's ashes
When her daughter died in her arms only 18 hours after being born three years ago, it was a living nightmare for Calgarian Mariana Medina.
But the grieving process for Medina and her husband, Camilo Martinez, became even more heartbreaking after a funeral home director disposed of the baby's ashes without the couple's consent.
“Leaving the hospital with empty hands, coming home with empty hands, was just horrible,” Medina said.
“You can't forget your daughter ... I felt like a zombie living in a nightmare.”
Medina's daughter, Alana, was born in October 2017, but died following complications that emerged late in the pregnancy. She was cremated at Elegant Tributes, a northwest Calgary funeral home that has since gone out of business.
Now, the couple is suing both the defunct business and its owner, Mike Dost, for $35,000 after he scattered Alana's ashes at Calgary's Edworthy Park.
Dost told Postmedia on Sunday that he understood the family's grief was ongoing after the death of their child.
“LET me just offer a public apology. I'm sincerely sorry for any hurt that my personal actions or those of Elegant Tributes may have caused. It certainly wasn't my intention,” Dost said.
Medina said she and her husband had returned Alana's remains to Elegant Tributes for a short period of time, saying it was too difficult to have the ashes in her house. When they drove by the business months later, they found it was empty.
“My head was spinning, wondering, `Where's my baby, what happened?' ” she said. “(Dost) called us back and said he did it. He said he couldn't give us a specific spot, but that it was in Edworthy Park, by the river.”
Dost said he did distribute the ashes, but said it was a mistake that occurred after miscommunication between himself and a business partner around the return of the ashes to Elegant Tributes.
He said Elegant Tributes had offered free cremation services to all families who had lost a child under the age of two, including Medina's family.
“I believe that I did this as a kindness to the family, where I didn't charge them. We did this for dozens of families,” Dost said. “It was a really rewarding process, where we did this for families who weren't expecting this tragedy. At one of the worst points in their life, instead of handing them a bill for $3,000, we could try to make their lives a little bit better.”
Alberta's Funeral Services Act addresses how funeral homes should dispose of cremated remains.
If a funeral home closes, the Alberta Funeral Services Regulatory Board may take possession of ashes. Funeral homes do, however, have to make reasonable efforts to contact the person who has rightof-control over the remains.
Only if the ashes are not claimed within five years of the date of cremation may a funeral home dispose of them. Legislation dictates they must dispose of the remains respectfully.
Medina said the lawsuit isn't about money, but about getting closure. She said the couple had planned to plant a memorial tree with Alana's ashes, something that was taken away from them.
“I just wanted an apology, a sincere apology,” Medina said.
But Dost said he has apologized multiple times throughout the past three years and tried to resolve the situation outside of the legal system.
“Since the situation came to light, we have been trying to resolve the issue in good will. It is unfortunate that the family is seeking to heal their pain through the courts,” Dost said.
The allegations in the case have not been proven in court.