My Poor Beater Bike

Why I love my everyday ride and why it’s embarrassing

My poor beater bike. As I write this, it’s in the basement of the Canadian cycling magazine office. I don’t usually bring it inside, no matter the weather. That star treatment is reserved for test bikes and my more precious race machines. The only reason the beater is inside is that the back gate is frozen shut. Maybe the guilt I feel for the way I treat the beater is trumping any duty I have for chiselling out the gate. The bike could use a warm place for a few hours a day, a little tlc.

The beater used to be more of a star, when I first got it. I treated the aluminum-frame cyclocross bike well, before and after rides and races. Another bike has since taken its place at start lines. I gave my previous generation of beater to a friend, so the alloy CX machine was pressed into daily service. I added a rear rack to carry panniers and fenders to shield me from road spray.

Winter is brutal on a bike. The road salt desiccates and rusts a chain and cassette in no time. The frame seems coated perpetually in white dust. I run studded tires for traction, but the treads can clog up with snow and stress out the fenders. This past winter, the snow-packed front tire led to the fender stays getting ripped off. Except for a hole I now have in the main fender body, everything still works pretty well. And there’s less weight. I call that improvement by disrepair.

Not all disrepair is an improvement, however. The mangled bar tape, or what’s left of it, is straight-up embarrassing. Not so embarrassing that I’ve actually taken out my new bar tape, which I have stashed in a drawer, and made the repair. But it’s embarrassing enough that I cringed the other day when the guy at the bike shop made a comment as I paid for new brake pads. (The brakes are dialled, by the way. I don’t mess around in the stopping department.) “The cycling magazine editor’s bars have no tape” is the new “the cobbler’s children have no shoes” – if I may be so bold.

My colleagues love to razz me about the beater. One of the popular targets is the Shimano Ultegra 6700 crank. What kind of person puts such a nice component on a beater? Well, I happened to have a spare Ultegra crank when I had to replace the old one. Call it thrift! But I am a bit sheepish about that, as the component really is too bling for a daily, dirty ride. Another target is my panniers, which have more than 10 years of sediment layered on them. My co-workers are expecting holes to open up in my panniers on my way to the office one day soon, strewing their contents all over the bike lane. I’m thinking I still have some time before that happens.

Both the bike and I are looking forward to spring: warmer weather and salt-free roads. I’ve promised the machine that it will be a time of renewal. The studded tires will come off, get swapped for slicks. While I have the bike on the workstand, I’ll wrap the bars. I should also replace the cables and housing, maybe the chain, and…well, we’ll see.

I love how the beater just seems to keep on going.

Matthew Pioro Editor