As Gear-y as I Want To Be

A serious look at the stuff we ride with

Ididn’t laugh, but I got the joke. In January, as I was planning this buyer’s guide, the Newyorker published a cartoon with a cyclist. It features a rider, in kit, handling his bike at a repair stand. He’s surrounded by a peloton of callouts labelling everything. And I mean everything: aerodynamic helmet, cycling cap, spandex (jersey), more spandex (bibs), degreaser, grease, other grease, light, another light, racing tires, chain lube, water bottle, water bottle cage and more. There are even “other thingies” that lie at his feet. Above him reads, “If you give a dad a bicycle, he’s going to want…” Get it?

Oh, I get it. Ours is a gear-y passion. Cartoonist Maggie Larson could have added a power meter, heart-rate monitor, tubeless-tire sealant and a digital air-pressure gauge. It might blow her mind that some of us buy slow cookers just for waxing our chains, not to mention the ultrasonic cleaners for getting the component truly spotless. Actually, Larson might know about that stuff, too. It seems she’s a rider, but one who’s not keen on spandex. Maybe there simply wasn’t room on the page for all the gear stuff.

Part of me doesn’t like how the cartoon singles out cycling as an exercise in excess. My hunch is Larson’s dig at a certain type of cyclist isn’t vicious, just a knowing sort of teasing. Still, I feel a bit defensive. Ours isn’t the only passion that is stuff-heavy. The “simple” pursuit of camping can lead to cycling levels of weight-weenieism, especially if you are looking for ultralight shelters. I have an audiophile friend who has a stunning mixer that’s the price of a mid- to high-end bike. This past winter, I finally replaced my 30-year-old skate skis. You know what? The bindings are largely carbon fibre, and they are wicked. You should see my collection of glide wax.

The bite I feel from Larson’s comic, its sting, comes out

“It might blow her mind that some of us buy slow cookers just for waxing our chains.”

of something that I struggle with, and you might, too. The beauty of cycling is the feeling of freedom it gives you. We all have memories of the feelings of independence we gained from our first rides around the block, solo or with friends. Our bikes made our territories a little bit bigger. There were more places to explore. Our tires were probably pumped once a season. Chain maintenance? What was that? Our bikes seemed perpetually ready for action. Now, maybe it’s an adult diligence that has me monitoring tire pressure closely, as well as chain wear. (On my commuter, however, not so much.) But sometimes the rituals the night before a ride can be a drag: lubing, pumping and checking charges in numerous batteries. The carefree feeling is dormant until the actual riding starts.

Still, I ultimately dig gear. I want to know how things are made and hear from their designers. I want to know how things work. And, I want to try them out for myself. For me, it’s all part of the fun. Also, cycling can still be simple. You don’t have to go full gear head. Basic maintenance skills are a must. But really, if you have a bike you love to ride, you’re totally sorted.