not feeling it?

Many women mistake a low sex drive for a clinical case of sexual dysfunction— but chances are, the cause is more than medical.

Youaren’t exactly sure what’s up, but even though you love your partner, you just haven’t felt like sex lately. You duck his touch, opting to watch Netflix instead. Maybe it’s been months, and you’re starting to wonder: Is there something wrong?

You can carry on with binge-watching The Crown, because, for most women, there’s nothing medically amiss between the sheets. And, if it’s any comfort, you’re not the only one who’s concerned about the possibility of sexual dysfunction. Teesha Morgan, a Vancouver sex therapist, says it’s the question patients ask most. But, “almost 100 percent of the time, what they’re experiencing is normal,” she says. “There are so many things that can affect sexual desire: if you have little kids; if you’re on antidepressants; if you take the birth control pill; if you’re perimenopausal, postmenopausal or going through menopause....”

Dr. Natalie Rosen, a clinical psychologist and sex therapist in Halifax, says true sexual dysfunction persists for at least six months and is “associated with significant distress for the individual or couple, as judged by a clinician.” So, while it may seem as though all of your friends are in the same sexless boat, just 12 to 20 percent of women and 11 percent of men have sexual dysfunction.

But if it’s not a medical problem, what’s behind your lack of drive? As Morgan says, there are tons of reasons. However, one major cause might be a truism we were hoping to write off: In women, sex drive tends to dip over time. According to a study published in Psychological Medicine last year, which looked at sexual function (desire, satisfaction, ability to achieve orgasm) in more than 2,000 women, those in long-term relationships tended to see a drop in desire. But that doesn’t mean you should buy into the clichés about women hating sex; instead, take the opportunity to be more realistic about your expectations—it’s OK to have less sex! And take heart: The study also found that the longpartnered women had an easier time achieving orgasm.

So, if you want to have sex like a champion, don’t be afraid to try new things: Get it on anywhere but the bedroom or use a sex toy—and make your personal preferences clear. Dr. Laurie Betito, a clinical psychologist in Montreal, suggests that you “liken having sex to going to the gym.” Put it in your calendar if you have to! Because, just as with exercise, the more you go, the easier it will be to keep your commitment.