SERENITY NOW

Knock down your worries by adjusting the way you see them.

Learn how to change the way you see your fears

Many of us live not just with fear but from fear. You may be a former dancer whose fear of appearing less than perfect prevents you from setting foot in a studio; maybe you’re someone whose fear of being hurt has robbed you of relationship after relationship; or perhaps your fear of being laughed at by peers sidelines you from trying a new class.

In small measures, fear keeps us safe. I’m glad for the fear that cautions people not to walk on a frozen pond or to think twice before picking a fight with a boss. But living from a place of fear is a different matter altogether. When our fears become irrational or overstated, they become emotional thugs, beating the boldness out of us and demanding we shrink from opportunities, relationships and a life fully lived. We live from fear when we make decisions out of fear, decide what we will do or not do out of fear. When we live from fear, we don’t risk, and when we don’t risk, we don’t grow. That’s too high a price to pay. If fear is the thief, then the ransom is personal potential.

So, what are we afraid of anyway? If we are to stop living from fear, first we must root out the source of these traitors. A few of you have fears born of trauma and you beat them back bit by bit, heroically, just by surviving, by taking another breath. But all of us have fears born merely from living with the painful misperceptions that seem to be woven into the very fabric of our culture.

At right, I use the apt acronym FEAR to spell out the common misconceptions that are fertile ground for the fears that bind us. Kicking these faulty beliefs to the curb— accepting ourselves as we are, allowing ourselves to be imperfect and make mistakes and believing the best in others—will allow us to flourish, rather than fear.

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