Joy of kids parties

The less you think, the more it costs

My little family recently experienced a significant milestone. Our twins Gavin and Lauren, who came kicking and screaming into this world seven weeks too early and were so small that they fit neatly into the palm of my hand, turned five years old this month.

They are still smaller than many of their classmates but their spunk and spirit more than make up for it. Five seemed like a significant birthday so I decided that throwing them a big party was the perfect way to celebrate. Not to mention it was a fantastic distraction from renovation stress and our impending move.

Bernard’s attempts to derail — or at least, postpone — my big birthday party plans fell on deaf ears.

I gave myself permission to just go for it because I didn’t have the mental energy to make wise, discerning decisions.

I booked a slightly pricier location because I didn’t want to research more cost-effective locations. I ordered the same cakes from the same bakery because I didn’t feel like trying out a new bakery. I invited all 30 of their classmates because I didn’t know how to cut down the list and didn’t want to try.

Basically the twins had a bigger party than we could properly afford, all because I was tired.

Birthday parties in my youth were far simpler affairs — I played Pin the Tail on the Donkey with my closest friends, and then ate hotdogs and a store-bought birthday cake. (And Pop Shoppe pop, of course! Pop Shoppe equals Birthdays). Other years we ate burgers and wore golden crowns at the Burger King in Sydney.

I was perfectly happy with these no muss, no fuss celebrations. But these days, perhaps in an attempt to minimize the mess and mayhem, parents are opting to outsource the festivities.

The party place we booked took care of all the setup, decorating and cleanup. Which was good, because every single one of Gavin and Lauren’s classmates showed up.

The party wasn’t without its stresses. We had been without power for a week at the house we are renovating; Toronto Hydro arrived to reconnect us just as the party was starting. (Hydro supplies power — not water — in Ontario. This confused me for years.)

I quickly wrangled our contractor into meeting the power crew, despite the fact that Bernard was more than willing to leave the party and take care of things. You’re not going anywhere, I hissed.

While we served pizza to the rowdy crew, one of the moms raided the vegetable tray so her daughter could have healthy snacks instead. For real.

And finally, at the end of the party I handed out colourcoded loot bags — pastel, sparkly bags for girls and primary-coloured bags for boys. I did this for convenience and because ... I hadn’t really thought about it.

One of the boys wanted a sparkly bag but when I explained it was filled with girl stuff, his face fell. I felt like the worst gender-conforming party host ever. Once again, not thinking got me in trouble. He walked out with a boy bag and a girl bag.

Although the party was a great success and the twins enjoyed themselves, I had some big revelations. First, don’t be scared to make decisions. Second, give the kids whatever damn loot bag they want. And third, consider a nice weekend away at a kid-friendly hotel next year. Kids don’t need a party every year, do they?