Some road trips bring out the worst in people

Where does it come from?

This is a column about a very small thing.

A very small, but very puzzling thing.

Ever been driving on a narrow road and have another vehicle come up from behind you quickly, but the road’s narrow enough or windy enough that they can’t pass? And then they move as close to your bumper as possible, maybe even put their brights on as if their car or truck was yelling to make its point even more strongly?

I mean, if road conditions are bad and I don’t feel comfortable travelling the speed limit, I’ll pull over and let people behind me pass.

But sometimes you can’t do that either, and, eventually, the road opens up enough for them to make a great demonstration of pulling out past you — something that’s a relief in itself — and you look forward to watching their taillights disappear into the distance like tiny bloodshot eyes.

But sometimes, just sometimes, that isn’t at all what happens. Instead, the driver who so clearly had important things to do will pull in and deliberately slow down in front of you, slower than you’ve been driving, and do their level best to keep you pinned behind them for the longest time possible. What the heck is that behaviour even about?

I liken it to online poker, where sometimes, when a player isn’t playing fast enough for someone else at the table, the angry but faster player will start insulting them in the game’s chat space, laying out long rows of “Zzzzzzzs” or typing “PLAY!!! PLAY!!!” over and over again, followed by any other insult they can think of. And then, to somehow bizarrely make their point, the player who was complaining about the speed of the game will start playing as slowly as they possibly can, using every second of their time before placing a bet, posting the odd chat message of “How’s that? Like that?” And they’ll keep doing it for ages, as if the best way to protest a slow game is to slow it down even more.

The pass-and-slow-down driving’s the same thing — it’s not at all about the optimal speed for traffic. It’s about the ability of someone to impose their anger on someone else. It is, really, about small, self-interested displays of personal power.

I mean, the very purpose of passing you was to address the fact that you weren’t moving fast enough for the other driver’s liking. That ordinary traffic should move more quickly. Maybe, even, because they had somewhere else to be.

Tuesday, walking a moderately busy street, I was nearly sideswiped by a huge pickup — the truck and its driver had been delayed by someone who had to wait to turn left into a driveway. So the pickup’s driver simply cut its wheels to the right, drove up and over the curb and onto the sidewalk with me.

Then, as if to add punctuation to his foray onto the sidewalk (or else to demonstrate the importance of his cruelly delayed mission) the pickup driver revved up and blew through a completely red light at the next intersection.

That, at least, made a little more sense, in a strange way, than the pass-and-deliberate-dawdle.

Passing you just to slow down and block you? It really does suggest the drivers involved believe they are the only important people on the road, and everyone else has to submit to their preferred speed and driving style.

I always wonder about that headspace.

I can only wish for a 2021 with few small, self-interested, selfabsorbed people, whether it’s in the cars behind me, online poker players, or even drivers at the wheel of major nations. We can hope.

Passing you just to slow down and block you?