Compassion and care
Cremation services offer grieving pet owners path to healing
For many people, the death of a pet is the loss of a beloved family member. Michelle Alexander knows how that feels. She lost her beloved dog Kasey, a Cavalier King Charles spaniel, in 2016, which she says was "a devastating experience."
"I didn't have a family of my own; all I had was my pets. I had two dogs and two cats at the time. And, you know, they were my children, and so when I lost my precious Kasey, I didn't know what to do with myself," she said.
"I really didn't know where to seek comfort and where to seek the compassion that I desperately needed. It was just me and my animals and I needed a level of compassion and a level of care that I couldn't find.”
Kasey's loss inspired her to take steps to make the loss of a beloved pet easier for others. Five years ago, Alexander launched Angel Paws Pet Crematorium in Conception Bay South, N.L.
"(Kasey) is such a big part of why I do what I do every day. I found myself wondering where he was, and if he was getting a cuddle, so now I cuddle other babies as a legacy to him," she explains.
There's no "right way" to deal with the loss of a pet, she adds. It's something she's asked a lot but she said it's a unique experience for everyone.
For her, though, bringing her pets home again is what helped the most.
"When you have your pets and you're raising them, particularly towards the end when they require so much care, so much of your day and your routine circles around looking after them and caring for them," she said.
"When they're gone, you're left with such a sense of loss that it can be so overwhelming. Being able to bring your pet home again after cremation — though it's not at all how you'd wish you could be bringing them home — there's a sense of comfort in it. You know where they are, and that they're safe at home where they belong. That's about the only way I could start to heal."
SAD SITUATION
Throughout the pandemic, pet cremation and cemetery services across Atlantic Canada have continued helping their clients as best they can — with empathy and understanding of just how painful the loss of a pet can be.
Kent Simpson, of Angels Haven Pet Crematorium and Cemetary in P.E.I., likewise feels that giving pet owners help in making choices around their pet's death was worthwhile.
“I just thought people might want to have control and find out they can have control, (about) what they want to do with their remains,” said Simpson.
The idea of pet cremation is not a new one.
Precious Pet Cemetery in Antigonish has been in operation for 27 years, explains owner Stephen Van de Wiel. It was originally started by his aunt and uncle after their experience when they lost their own pet. It left them determined to ensure no one else went through the same heartbreak.
“She left (the remains) with the vet clinic at the time, and unknowingly to her, they sent the pets to the landfill,” Van de Wiel says of his aunt's experience of losing a pet.
“So she was completely mortified by that and told her husband, 'We have to do something about that.' So, they had the foresight and it worked out very well for them.”
DIFFICULT DECISIONS
Making the right decision for what you want to do with a beloved pet's remains isn't an easy one, said Van de Wiel.
He recommends thinking about it in advance, rather than when faced with a difficult choice at a very emotional time.
"As hard as it is to think about, we highly recommend people take the time to think about what they'd prefer to have done in advance, and a few have even gone as far as fully preplanning and prepaying for their pet's aftercare so when the difficult time comes, everything has been completed already when they were thinking more clearly and without being rushed," he said.
In the past, many pet owners have opted to bury their pet's remains at home, and some, he said, have regretted that choice.
"We have been contacted multiple times in the past, wanting us to exhume the remains of a buried pet from someone's yard," he explains.
"This could be for a few reasons, such as the people are moving and don't want to leave their pet behind; they also may want to erect a building on the burial site, which isn't ideal either."
There's also the possibility of contaminating the water table if the burial isn't carried out properly or in proper soil conditions, he said.
"We strongly believe each pet owner deserves to do whatever they feel is best for both themselves and their pets, but they also should try to think of every possibility as well, which can be extremely difficult during this time," Van de Wiel adds.
PANDEMIC ISSUES
The business owners in all three provinces have continued to work through the pandemic, with little to no change in the volume of calls they receive from bereaved pet owners.
Alexander said owners are grateful that their service is still there.
“Every single day, we hear from people — you know, ‘thank you so much for your kindness,'” said Alexander. “When you lose a pet, until you've actually been through it, you don't understand what that feeling is. People that come to us, some of them will say, 'They were such a big part of our family,' and of course, they are. You have your set routine, you have your life, and they are such a big part of that.”
Like most other businesses, COVID has impacted the way services are offered, including restrictions on owners bringing pets in personally. Instead, pets are picked up or transported from vet offices.
In Nova Scotia, where COVID cases have recently spiked, Van de Wiel said pet cremation services have continue, as they are classified as "essential."
“We were an essential service to the vet clinics,” Van de Wiel said of past lockdowns and restrictions. “So, we're still going to go to vet clinics; we are taking added measures for safety."
FINAL RESTING SPOTS
Another important aspect of pet cremation and cemetery services that has continued throughout the pandemic is the ability for people who have lost pets to visit the memorial gardens and cemeteries. While most people take their pet's ashes home with them, others will choose to leave them and come back to visit.
“They put the little solar lights on the grave and sometimes people come out with different solar lights, with a pumpkin or something, for Halloween,” said Simpson of returning pet owners.
At Alexander's Conception Bay South business, the garden is open for visitors at all times and mourning pet owners appreciate that.
"We do have regular visitors, there are people that will come and they'll walk," she said. "Actually, we have some wonderful kids that bring painted rocks and leave them in the garden and we just love that. And, of course, they often have their pet's name on them.”
Having taken over the business from family, Van de Wiel sees the services they offer as unique in the importance and connection to both animals and owners and helping the owners heal from their loss.
“I think, in order to be in this type of business, you need to have a special connection with pets,” said Van de Wiel. “And you need to realize a special bond between human impacts and that's hugely important for to be successful in this type of business.”