As more people choose the single life, researchers ask: are they happier?

Nastasha Streiling says even though she'd like a re‐ lationship, she's happy being single.

The 28-year-old, who lives in Victoria, says she's "not going to be with someone unless it enhances things."

She's part of a growing number of single people in Canada and around the wor‐ ld.

"There seems to be evi‐ dence that around the world people are staying single longer and sometimes stay‐ ing single permanently," said Geoff MacDonald, a psychol‐ ogist at the University of Toronto whose lab studies the well-being of single peo‐ ple.

In Canada, there's been a drop in the number of peo‐ ple living together as couples from 1981 to 2021, according to Statistics Canada.

Researchers say this drop in the number of couples is due to societal shifts. Data shows there are fewer peo‐ ple getting married, and some divorced people are choosing to remain single.

"I also think that those trends in divorce made peo‐ ple think very carefully about what it is that they do want in their life," said Yuthika Girme, an associate professor who studies relationships and sin‐ glehood at Simon Fraser Uni‐ versity (SFU). "And if they do want to be in a relationship, who their potential partner is."

She also says some peo‐ ple are choosing to delay ro‐ mantic relationships to focus on their careers.

Are single people un‐ happy?

For years, many studies on singlehood focused specifi‐ cally on relationship status in comparison to well-being.

"I think what happened is that it gave rise to people making assumptions and stereotypes about single people," said Girme, who leads the Singlehood Experi‐ ences and Complexities Un‐ derlying Relationships Lab at SFU.

WATCH | Why so many people are single right now:

She says her own re‐ search as well as MacDon‐ ald's looks into the well-being of singles in order to better understand the role their re‐ lationship statuses play in their happiness.

For example, this 2023 study showed there are other factors that impact a single person's overall life satisfac‐ tion and feelings about being single. The 2021 study sur‐ veyed more than 900 single people around the world from different cultural back‐ grounds and sexual orienta‐ tions.

MacDonald's research found that those who are most unhappy about being single and who have the lowest overall satisfaction with their lives are people who crave connection. He de‐ scribes them as "anxiously attached" individuals.

Those who are happiest with being single tend to be more independent people who are comfortable being alone, he said.

"There's actually not a lot of difference between the kinds of people who are hap‐ py single, and the kinds of people who are happy in re‐ lationships."

MacDonald said the peo‐ ple with the highest life satis‐ faction are those who are happy to be single but are al‐ so open to being in a rela‐ tionship. He described them as "emotionally stable" peo‐ ple who like to connect with others.

"Our data suggests that it's not so much that getting into a relationship makes people happy. There's proba‐ bly better evidence that hap‐ py people are more likely to get into relationships."

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Societal pressure and the singles tax

Despite research that sug‐ gests a person's relationship doesn't determine how hap‐ py they are, Girme points out that society has reinforced the values of romantic rela‐ tionships and marriage.

For example, certain real‐ ity shows, romantic comedies and Christmas movies focus on the end goal of a single

person finding a partner.

"I don't think I've ever seen dating shows where a person walks away from it being like, 'Yeah, I gave it a go, I'm still single and I'm OK with that,' " said Girme. "It's always looked at with pity if people aren't able to find a match."

Society is not only inclined to create negative stereo‐ types around singlehood, it's also designed to economical‐ ly support people in relation‐ ships.

Agraj Rathi, who lives in Vancouver, says he's experi‐ enced pressure from friends and family to get married. The 26-year-old also says there's a financial benefit to being in a relationship.

"I feel like society is very couple focused in the sense that if you have somebody to share expenses, it's very easy to have a higher quality of liv‐ ing."

People who don't couple up are stuck paying what's come to be known as the "singles tax." It's the differ‐ ence between what a single person pays for something over a year, compared to the cost per person if it's shared by a couple.

There are also taxes in Canada that benefit couples, according to Girme. For ex‐ ample, those in married or common-law relationships can receive a spousal tax credit if one partner has a lower income. They can also pool medical expenses and split pensions with their part‐ ners, if eligible.

WATCH | Are you paying the singles tax?

Support from friends and family

Girme's research suggested that a single person's hap‐ piness largely hinges on the discrimination that comes from those closest to them who are aware of their rela‐ tionship status.

Her research has looked at the discrimination single people can face that can lead to lower well-being. The first study included participants from New Zealand, while the second study focused on people from the U.S. and Canada. Both included peo‐ ple from different back‐ grounds and genders.

The paper comparing the two studies found that inter‐ actions with close friends and family about being single, rather than a person's single status, is what threat‐ ens their happiness.

That's something that Streiling has experienced.

"There's always, always, always the question at family gatherings where it's like, 'Oh, are you seeing anyone?'"

Girme says people should avoid asking about a person's relationship status unless it's clear the person wants to talk about it.

"By asking these ques‐ tions, we centre the conver‐ sation around partnership as being the ultimate goal."

Streiling says she has many friends on a similar path, who are less focused on finding a partner. "I'm very happy in my current life."

For now, she says a part‐ ner shouldn't make her life more complicated. "So if that means me being single, then that's totally fine."

This is part of CBC News Social's dating series, which explores the realities of being single and dating in Canada today.