Love triumphs over a decade of adversity
Schooling, jobs forced couple’s long-distance separations
Google the expression “absence makes the heart grow fonder” and you may well come upon the story of Whitney Exton and Wes Burwash. Hearts don’t get much fonder than theirs — or stronger.
By the time they finally tied the knot last September, they had spent more than four of the past 10 years apart. When they first met in 2003, both of them were living in Edmonton. She was 18, just out of high school. He was 21, a bartender at a club downtown and an engineering student at the University of Alberta.
She’s not sure what came over her that night, but she flirted with him “outrageously,” then threw caution to the wind by scribbling her phone number on a Post-it note and handing it to him as she breezed past him on the way out.
He called her the very next day, and for weeks they were inseparable. They went rollerblading, on picnics, to movies, sampled pizza from practically every joint on Whyte Avenue. The laughter between them came easily, as did the conversation, so it was a bit of a head-shaker when they parted ways after two months.
“It just wasn’t working out for us,” says Whitney with a shrug. “He was busy at the U of A, and I was just starting MacEwan, taking communications.”
Despite everything, there was this sense of unfinished business, of things left unsaid. After the breakup, they remained connected, through phone calls and through MSN messenger. They even hung out together once in a while, but only as friends.
When a year later Wes announced he was heading to Ottawa to pursue his master’s degree in aerospace engineering at Carleton University, Whitney panicked, convinced she would never see him again.
The connection never wavered, though, and when he casually suggested later that fall that she come for a visit, she casually agreed, then booked her plane ticket with shaking hands and sweating palms. There was nothing casual about the conversations that took place during that trip — everything that had been left unsaid was said, in spades.
“We finally laid everything on the table,” says Whitney, “and decided we wanted to be together again.” Being together meant being apart, and for three years they reluctantly made do with a long-distance relationship, visiting each other when they could until the day Wes graduated and returned to Edmonton.
A year passed and he still hadn’t found a job in his field. So when an offer came from Ottawa, they had a “makeor-break” decision — Whitney quit her job and moved with him to Ottawa.
She found out the hard way that not being able to speak fluent French in the nation’s capital was a difficult obstacle to overcome if you’re in communications. After juggling three part-time jobs for two years to make ends meet, she threw in the towel and moved back to Edmonton.
What followed was yet another year of separation, with only a single visit from Wes at Christmas to fill the gap. It was during that visit they decided they had spent enough time apart, that it was time to start planning their lives together. They decided Wes would quit his job and move back home to Edmonton — permanently.
“The distance and work had been huge emotional battles for us,” says Whitney, “but our relationship had grown stronger because of that, and because of everything we had gone through. We were stronger as individuals and stronger together as a couple. We were a team the entire time.”
Once the decision was made, they wasted no time. Even though they weren’t officially engaged, they started interviewing wedding co-ordinators and photographers during Wes’s Christmas visit, and even toured some venues.
“People thought we were a little crazy and a little backward,” laughs Whitney.
She came down with a horrendous sinus and head cold, the worst she had ever had. On New Year’s Day, they were cooped up all day together. She waited impatiently for Wes to pop the question, which given the circumstances was simply a formality. He didn’t.
She suggested a romantic walk, despite the fact it hurt her head to be outside. They walked, and walked, and walked. Still nothing.
The next day, they went shopping. This time it was Wes who suggested they stop for a walk at a local park on the way home. And that’s when he finally popped the question, dropping to one knee in a frozen snowbank.
The wedding this past fall was a reflection of themselves, says Whitney, which is to say it was a personal and intimate affair, with just the right amount of fun and silliness added to ensure everyone had the time of their lives.
Whitney was calm the entire day, right up till the moment she started down the aisle.
“I had a moment’s panic attack as the reality hit me,” she says, “but the instant I saw Wes, everything calmed inside me and I rode high on elation the rest of the day.”
During the reception, they had a huge projector that scrolled through 500 photographs of the couple, their families and their friends.
“We ensured every single guest was featured at least once,” Whitney says. “The project took several weeks of hunting, scanning, sorting and designing. It was a brutal job but it turned out really well. Everyone loved it, as did we!”
Her brother emceed the event, picking on her as she knew he would. His stories and anecdotes had guests in tears of laughter, Whitney says, and kept the mood upbeat, fun and very, very sweet.
“Everywhere I looked, people were laughing, talking, dancing and having a great time,” she says.
“Somehow, a friend of mine managed to get a conga line started, and almost every single one of our 100 guests was involved — it was a little bizarre, completely spontaneous and funny.
“We had a fantastic time partying with our friends and guests; even thinking about the day now fills us with gratitude and happiness.” edmontonjournal. com Check out previous Wedding Tales at edmontonjournal. com/weddings