The sequel: Snakes in a Chain?

Ask any kid in the schoolyard about the best breed of snake to bring to a brawl. You’ll get a decent list of bad-ass serpents: the rattlesnake, cobra, viper and black mamba, just for starters.

Even a boa constrictor, though not poisonous, is enough to make you squirm with its ability to put the squeeze on. But a garter snake? Not even close. The most dangerous thing about a garter is that it might tickle you with its tongue.

And yet the very odd combination of a garter snake, a Saskatoon Tim Hortons and a spat over sandwich toppings was enough to send employees fleeing in terror last week.

It began when two 20-year-old men with a hankering for sandwiches walked into Timmy’s on a Monday morning. “The men wanted their onions diced,” Saskatoon police said in a news release.

When they failed to get their way, one reached into the pocket of his friend’s coat, pulled out the snake and tossed it behind the counter.

The timorous employees fled. The men, who presumably left without their sandwiches, were charged with mischief and creating a disturbance.

Many unanswered questions remain: Just why was a young man wandering around Saskatoon in December with a garter snake in his pocket? What’s the obsession with diced onions? If you’re going to arm yourself with a snake, why a garter?

And do the employees now feel a little sheepish about fleeing from the harmless reptile, who police have rehoused and named Outlaw?

At least there’s one happy ending: Come spring, Outlaw will be returned to the wild, far from drivethroughs, double doubles and diced onions.