A match made in kindergarten
Couple shares deep love for their grandmothers, and each other
As far as the couple knew then, Terry Te and Chad Lan-gager first got to know each other when they were 29.
“We met a couple times through mutual friends, and during those times we were in different relationships,” says Terry over beers in the backyard of their Rio Terrace home.
“But we met again when we were both single and we bonded over a conversation about our grandmas.”
Both were very close to their grandmothers — Terry had lived with hers when she was young, Chad lived with his in university — who were both recently sick and had been in the hospital not too long before.
“It was kind of funny,” says Terry. “Because we’re all at the bar drinking and here’s the two of us tearing up over the love for our grandmas.”
When he first saw his future wife, Chad, the founder of a digital media company, told his friend that Terry, a nurse, was the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen.
But that wasn’t the first time he saw her. Shortly after they started dating, they realized they’d actually known each other for a quarter-century.
Turns out they were in the same kindergarten class at Callingwood Elementary School, five minutes from where they live now, and one of their friends posted the evidence on Facebook.
“So we pulled up the picture and we basically went down to the last person and I was like, ‘You cannot be that kid, I hated that kid.’ And Chad’s like ‘No, yeah, for sure, that’s me,’” says Terry. Things have changed. The couple fell for each other hard and just more than a year after their teary encounter, Chad proposed. It was Dec. 7, and at -38 C, the coldest day of that year so far.
Chad had planned on proposing on the legislature grounds in front of the Christmas lights. He even had two friends hiding in the wings to take photos. Given the weather, it was tricky to convince Terry to play along.
“In my mind, I’m freaking out, right? Like, how do I spin this?” says Chad. “I really tried to make a point of — ‘We’ve been meaning to be more proactive about these sorts of things, come on, we’re Canadian! We can weather it!’”
Terry reluctantly agreed to take a stroll. Chad proposed, she cried, and the cold, well, it made for a good story.
“I turn around and these two ninjas pop out of the snow,” says Terry. “They’re both wearing balaclavas, right? And they had hand warmers and they came out with champagne.”
Pretty romantic, yes, but the couple didn’t feel the need to repeat the sub-zero temperatures portion of the evening — they both liked the idea of a fall wedding.
An easygoing couple, they wanted a modern wedding that still incorporated tradition: Terry’s family is Chinese and Vietnamese.
Choosing the slick Matrix hotel took care of the first part.
For the traditional aspect, the couple had a tea ceremony after they exchanged vows.
“Traditionally, the tea ceremony is where both families give their blessing for us to get married. It’s usually a time when the family gives the bride jewelry and the groom money,” says Terry.
“We were really just like, ‘Let’s get this over with so my parents are happy.’ But it ended up being the biggest cry fest, because both sides of the family didn’t just give us jewelry — they gave me all my grandma’s heirlooms. It was the nicest thing.”
Adds Chad, “My mom gave me my great-grandma’s pin and my grandpa’s (wedding day) cufflinks — all these really sentimental things we weren’t expecting at all.”
The ceremony out of the way, the couple was ready to show their friends and guests a good time.
Key to that was an element of surprise.
For the wedding party’s entry into the reception, Terry and Chad chose a song for each of the groomsmen and bridesmaids.
“They had to go in, do a shot, and then dance their way up to the head table. By the time it got to us, everyone was expecting us to dance to a song, but we had a whole lion dancing troupe with crazy symbols and drums.
“When we came in, all we wanted to do was see how our family members were reacting. My mom, seriously, her jaw was to the ground,” says Terry.
“My family — they’ve never seen this before and there was a sort of cultural education. They were all blown away,” says Chad.
Amid all the partying and the dancing and the eating and drinking, the couple never lost sight of what connected them in the first place.
Terry’s grandma, who lives in a home, couldn’t come to the wedding, so the wedding party went to her to take family photos before the ceremony.
At the wedding itself, Chad’s grandmother made a speech that got a standing ovation.
“She was telling this grand story about how she’s travelled the world her entire life, set on a mission to find Chad a wife,” says Terry.
“She didn’t really do any of that stuff,” says the groom.
“She said, ‘I went to South America and the North Pole’ ... it was a very detailed sixminute story that all came back to the single punchline: that my wife was always here.”
That part, at least, is very true: Terry was here all along — at least since kindergarten.