RETURN-TO-WORK OPTIONS AREN’T ONE-SIZE-FITS-ALL
I’m not sure how I feel about going back to work.
On the one hand, I’m certain that I want to return to my career, and I miss working outside of the home. I long for the adult interaction. The intellectual stimulation. The camaraderie. Being in a newsroom. Learning. And, practically speaking, the pay cheque and the benefits, of course.
All of those things seem particularly alluring when you’re hanging out with your baby day in and day out, even if that baby is the love of your life and your new best pal.
One mom friend, Lauren, a teacher, resonated with me when she told me that she had been looking forward to going back to work when she returned last September. She, too, felt that her career was integral to her identity.
And she relished the short but sweet “me time” breaks a working day provided — lunch, prep period, commuting. There aren’t many of those breaks when you’re caring for baby. Or so I’ve learned.
I used to be pretty ignorant about mat leave. Not many years ago, I was naively under the impression that everyone who got pregnant — poof! — automatically had a year off work, paid.
I didn’t know that most women only receive a fraction of their salaries. I didn’t know that some women come back to work after nine, six — or even three — months.
I sure didn’t think I’d ever be in the position that I’m in now.
Indy is five months old, but I already need to start thinking about “going back to work.” I’m not technically on “mat leave” because I had been freelancing and doing contract work before Indiana was born. The isolation and instability of freelance life isn’t for me, so I need to go back to a job after Indy is one year old. And to make that happen, I have to start looking now.
I suspect with our less-thanstellar economy, I’m not the only woman in this position. But suppose I get a job straight away? I’ll be one of many women who goes back to work before her year is up.
Some moms go back because, financially, they have to. Some go early because they want to. Some moms wait until their children are school-aged, and some don’t go back at all.
Some mothers I spoke to went back to work with guns blazing, only to be frustrated with the momentum they’d lost during their year away.
When and how and if we return is a personal choice, and the lucky among us do have some choices. Certainly we’re better off in Canada with a year of maternity/parental leave as opposed to 12 weeks in the United States.
But we could do better. Canadian parents receive 55 per cent of their wages, for example, but several countries offer 100 per cent. More to the point, some countries offer better options for women who want to go back to work, no matter when that is.
Earlier this week, the Globe and Mail reported that Germany has significantly increased its percentage of women in the workforce by removing barriers for re-entry after children. For instance, that country offers flexible hours for women returning to work, and “women’s offices” and “re-integration centres” that help the process go smoothly.
Canadians also pay a lot for child care, making going back to work impossible for some.
A 2016 national study by the Canadian Centre for Policy Alternatives (CCPA) showed that median infant and toddler fees in Edmonton were $835/month, while in Toronto, parents paid $1,375 per child.
Back in 2015, the federal NDP’s Tom Mulcair campaigned on funding a $15/day national child care plan. He also promised to create new child care spaces (currently there’s a woeful shortage — licensed spots for less than a quarter of children under age 5).
We’ll never know how viable that plan could have been, so I’m banking on shelling out around $1,000 for Indy per month, when all is said and done, if I can get a spot. Going back to work will still be worth it financially, but that’s a considerable chunk of my earnings.
What I’m learning, though, is that there aren’t just two choices — “go back to work” or “stay home with kid.” There are numerous models that work.
A good friend of mine, Jenn, went back to her full-time job when baby was just three months old (her company is based in the U.S. and a year was out of the question). Luckily, though, she works from home while her husband looks after their daughter full-time.
On the plus-side, she continues to breastfeed. On the other hand, putting energy into mothering and working in the same space sometimes makes her feel like she’s not giving 100 per cent to either.
Another friend, Erin, returned to work part-time after nine months, initially doing two days a week and gradually increasing to three days, then four. She had a flexible employer. (I never even considered this as an option, and maybe at most jobs it wouldn’t be. But it never hurts to ask.)
Other moms hand over their parental leave to dad while they go back to the office.
Some mothers I’ve worked with in the past worked out breastfeeding schedules with their bosses so they could return at six months. Others came back part time permanently.
So how should you feel about going back to work? Sad, happy, scared, ecstatic, relieved — they’re all perfectly valid and none should come with the G word (guilt). But try to remember that you may, in fact, have options.
I’m sure my emotions will be all over the place when the time comes but, if I’ve learned anything these past five months, that’s pretty much parenting in a nutshell.