STRIKING A BALANCE WITH CHILDREN’S RISKY PLAY
When I first started living with my husband and my stepsons — then ages four and six — it took me a long time to get used to their physicality and all-around rambunctiousness. It’s not that I didn’t like it, but it worried me.
We lived downtown at 104 Street and 104 Avenue, and going for walks and scooter rides, I often found my heart was in my throat: would they stop at every corner like they were supposed to? What if they veered into the street? At home, I couldn’t look when they wrestled. They ran around small spaces without any thought to hard edges and sharp corners.
Sometimes they got briefly hurt and a few tears were shed, but mostly they didn’t. And soon my near-constant trepidation subsided and I trusted the kids more. When my husband Jesse’s parents or mine were around, I saw the same worry on their faces that I used to have.
Now that they’re eight and almost 10, I’m mostly used to it. Though it might be easier on our hearts if they took fewer risks and were less physical kids — say if they preferred quietly reading to rigging up a sled that can go down our front steps or jumping out the window of our porch (two activities I’ve witnessed and put an end to) — we’re happy to have such fearless kids.
But if I’m 100 per cent honest, when it comes to controversial activities such as backyard trampolines and trampoline parks, I’m grateful that I’m not the primary decision-maker.
A year ago, an Edmonton teenager, Landon Smith, broke his neck after jumping into a pit full of foam pieces at Jump Park Trampoline in Sherwood Park. Instead of landing in foam, he wound up on concrete, and was rendered quadriplegic.
While cases like these are rare, they are troubling. Our kids love trampoline parks and trampolines in general. And while I trust their body awareness and instincts, I often worry about the adult-sized teenagers bouncing alongside them.
The boys weren’t allowed to go to trampoline parks until they had a couple of years of gymnastics under their belts (a smart decision, I think, by my husband and their mom). But it’s hard not to wonder if trampoline parks will be a thing of the past when my 15-month-old son, Indiana, is in school, especially when you visit the Stollery Children’s Hospital and notice the warning signs about the dangers of trampolines (though I believe these are more in response to backyard trampolines).
It’s true that many things our kids do are potentially dangerous, but when doctors confirm that they see a lot of broken bones from one particular activity, it does give parents pause. So where does it end, then? Emergency doctors will tell you that sledding, too, is a common source of minor injury. In 2015, toboggan bans spread across Ontario and parts of the U.S. According to a Calgary bylaw, tobogganing is allowed in only 18 designated spots. Are these restrictions really about safety? Or are they about liability?
I once hit a tree while tobogganing in my backyard as a young kid, the result of which was the one and only shiner of my life. But I can’t imagine a childhood without tobogganing, the quintessential Canadian childhood pastime (and subject of my very first public speech in Grade 1). Tobogganing will be part of Indy’s life. I’m certain of it.
And what about roughhousing in general?
Last April, Quebec’s Eastern Townships made the news when daycares encouraged their staff to allow roughhousing in a community reference guide.
I still find it hard to be in the room when the boys want to “box” downstairs, and I’m terrified for Indy to be in the mix (he wants to wrestle with his brothers already and they’re definitely in different weight classes). But when the time is right, I’m inclined to side with the research suggesting that roughhousing is healthy play for boys and girls, that it can teach emotional intelligence, self-control and empathy. And, let’s face it, I’m inclined to let him do it because it’s a lot of fun.
Does that mean occasional tears and bumps and bruises — yes. But it also means that Indy will learn lessons about independence, boundaries and risk-taking.
So back to trampolines. It’s not likely they’ll ever be forbidden for my kids. Instead, Jesse is inclined to have the boys take a proper trampoline class to mitigate risk. We’re prepared to talk to them about safe and unsafe ways to bounce. And we’re encouraged by new backyard options like Springfree trampolines that are springless with a hidden frame and totally enclosed, eliminating some of the traditional backyard trampoline’s problem areas.
Could kids still get hurt? Of course. But that’s where rules, boundaries and acceptable risk come into play. Those are important lessons for them to learn — hard as it is for parents to sit back and watch.