Five Fantastic vehicles For today’s empty nesters
Having just received my first senior discount, I’m now officially — and undeniably — old.
The only good news is that the former basement troll, having flown from his basement lair, my nest is empty. That means his room is now free to store motorcycle parts, the backyard barbecue is no longer threatening a fungal rebellion, and I don’t even have to pretend to have a practical vehicle to transport him and all his buddies. Selfishness, thy name is grown children.
So, I have come up with a list of the five best vehicles for empty nesters.
The sporty singleton: This one is easy. The most manageable — and, by manageable, I mean affordable as well as comfortable — sporty ride currently available is BMW’s M240i. With all the lightness of being — and chassis — of the original M3 married to a very spunky version of BMW’s iconic 3.0-litre in-line six, the M240i ticks off all the boxes. It’s fast, it steers like the ultimate driving machine and it sounds absolutely magnificent.
Best of all, though the 2 Series coupe does boast a rear seat so one could — if pressured — offer someone a ride, it’s tight back there and access is made, shall we say acrobatic, thanks to a small door and the tight rear foot area. In other words, the kids — if they do make their way home — will be renting their own car. A word of warning, however: Don’t go for the seemingly similar M2 Competition. Yes, it has an extra 65 horsepower, but the little 2 doesn’t need it. Besides, the ride is much rougher and you’re looking at an extra $25,000.
You actually don’t mind ferrying people around: Another easy choice, at least if you’ve got $250,000 or so you’re willing to plunk down on a quasi-sedan. If so, Aston Martin’s Rapide S has your name written all over it. It is fast (552 horsepower), luxurious (have you seen, or more importantly felt, Aston Martin leather?) and sinfully gorgeous (I think it’s the sexiest car from a company known for producing sexy cars). And the Rapide has four doors. In other words, it borders on the practical.
But don’t worry. It’s more accommodating than a coupe, but only just. In other words, the kidlets will still want a ride downtown, but nobody is going to be asking for a drive all the way back to college. Then again, if you can afford the Rapide, you can afford to send your kids off in something of their own.
You’re the outdoorsy type: You want Jeep’s Wrangler. Pretty much every North American, regardless of race, creed or colour, has at least contemplated owning one in their lifetime. That’s hardly surprising.
For one thing, it’s a looker in its own chunky, blocky way. It is both cute as a button and ruggedly aggressive. It’s also fairly reliable, unlike many other FCA products, and in recent guises, surprisingly modern inside. Then there’s the fact it promises adventure and roads — actually trails — as yet untravelled.
One word of caution: With all these superlatives, the Wrangler is immensely popular, so expect to pay as much for the archaic Jeep as you would the much more modern BMW.
You’re on a budget: This one is a toughie. On one hand, you could opt for Mitsubishi’s three-cylinder Mirage — its target demographic is, quite literally, a 52-year-old empty-nester single parent on a tight budget — or Nissan’s even cheaper Micra. The Mirage has the advantage of Mitsubishi’s 10-year warranty and fuel-sipping economy, while the Micra offers an extra piston and far sportier performance. Said performance is also rugged, as demonstrated in Nissan Canada’s famous Micra Cup racing series.
On the other hand, you could also shop used and get a more, um, substantial automobile. For the empty nester on a budget — and said budget should always include the cost of future repair bills — the two best (only?) choices are the Honda Civic and Toyota Corolla. Pick an older Civic if you want something passably sporty, or a newer Corolla for its Toyota Safety Sense array of electronic driver aids.
For the completely self-indulgent: Buy a convertible Ford Mustang. In Canada, any ragtop is a decadence, and a rear-wheel-drive sports car all the more so.
But the Mustang just has so much going for it.
Like the Wrangler, it is an icon whose recent iteration is particularly fetching. Like the BMW, it’s advanced — or, at least, more advanced than its predecessors — with an independent rear suspension setup finally replacing the archaic solid rear axle. More importantly, it’s a Mustang.
Oh, and like the M240i, there’s precious little room in back seats so the average Hipster’s pointed little booties won’t even begin to fit back there.
One last thing: Go whole hog and the get the V8-powered, 460-horsepower GT.
The turbocharged four-cylinder looks good on paper, boasting 310 hp, but really doesn’t live up to the billing.
If you’re gonna dream, dream big.