How to... VISUALIZE Your Future
author and motivational speaker Adam “Smiley” Poswolsky is contemplating the biggest challenges that may be stopping people from achieving their goals. “Social media,” he says over the phone from his San Francisco-based office without missing a beat. “First, it’s a huge time suck. We spend so much of our time on Instagram, Facebook and Snapchat—and it’s even worse for Gen Z! There is also the issue of jealousy and envy and not being able to get past these emotions.”
And Poswolsky would know. Before writing The Quarter-Life Breakthrough— a Millennial manifesto that he self-published through an Indiegogo campaign—he had quit his job at the Peace Corps and would spend hours thumbing through his social-media accounts. “I spent a lot of time on Facebook being like ‘Oh, my friend is doing this!’ or ‘My friend went to business school!’ or ‘My friend opened a food truck—I want to open a food truck!’ Then I thought, ‘I can’t cook, I’m a shitty driver—why do I want to open a food truck?’ Mostly because it looks cool in a photo.”
But Poswolsky believes that these can be teachable moments, helping us unlock our key desires and aid in setting short- and long-term goals. “I think the first thought will always be ‘I want to do something different—let me see what my friends are doing,’ but the key is moving beyond FOMO [fear of missing out]. I started to realize that comparing myself to others was a waste of time. It only made the situation worse because I became stressed and jealous of all my friends’ accomplishments. Instead, I changed my mindset to focus on what I cared about.” He began by asking himself four key questions that have become part of his manifesto: What am I interested in? What are my unique gifts? What are the social issues I am passionate about? How do I want to impact others?
While Poswolsky believes that social media can stop people from going after their dreams, he also thinks it’s a good place to start if you need help answering these questions. The first step is to recognize your own patterns. For instance, if your feed is mostly filled with people who travel the world, start thinking about how to introduce adventure into your day-to-day life. Or if you’re following a lot of creative types, think about how you can be more creative on a daily basis. Then commit to weekly, monthly and six-month goals that will “get you closer to a job you actually want or a project you want to complete.”
Once you have your goals in place, your social accounts may come in handy again. “Start following people on Twitter and LinkedIn and see what types of articles they post,” says Poswolsky. “Look at their photos to learn more about how they create and share their work. Comment and ask questions about their content. Engaging with people on social media is a great way to reach out to someone who might be a potential mentor or offer career advice.”
So what lies beyond FOMO? For Poswolsky, it’s JOMO. “It means ‘joy of missing out,’” he says. “I like it because I think it’s more about the joy of self-awareness or self-love—that is, truly understanding yourself, your motivations and your goals. Then you can spend time working on projects you truly care about, projects that make you come alive.”
“It’s a deceivingly simple question—and one I’ve found most people can’t answer. What do you really want in your life? And are you on the path towards what you really want?”
– Oprah Winfrey