BUT, ACTUALLY, WHAT SHOULD YOU BE SPENDING ON A GIFT?

“Deciding how much to gift for a wedding might be the most stressful part of the event for a guest,” says Toronto-based etiquette and protocol consultant Lisa Orr. The golden rule of gifting is to—bare minimum—cover the cost of your plate, but what does that mean in real terms? At least $100 per person. And you may want to open your wallet a little bit wider if you are celebrating a family member or your BFF since kindergarten. (You did help each other survive middle school, after all.) There are a few exceptions, though. If you’re attending a destination wedding for your secondcousin-twice-removed, then a small token is enough. (Our wedding experts also note that newlyweds-to-be should really be writing “No gifts required” in a bold font on invitations to destination weddings.) Planning on skipping the wedding altogether? Unfortunately, that doesn’t wholly get you off the hook. It’s still politely expected that you send a gift that rings in at about half of what you would have given if you’d shown up for the open bar. But if you get clammy thinking about what making it rain on your pals will cost you, focus on the most fundamental rule of gifting: Only spend what you can afford. “The couple should be grateful for whatever they receive,” says Orr. “A wedding is not about the presents.”