STEP ASIDE
CATTY COMPETITION BETWEEN WOMEN AT WORK ISN’T WHAT IT’S MADE OUT TO BE.
We’ve come a long way, but gendered stereotypes are often rampant in the workplace, fostering the notion that women must compete with one another in the office. “It’s obviously a myth that women are inherently nasty, mean or competitive,” says Andrea Kramer, a lawyer and co-author of It’s Not You, It’s the Workplace. Here’s how to move forward.
1
Recognize the patriarchal BS at play. “If you buy into the belief that women are supposed to be only nice and sweet, then that may hold you back,” says Kramer. Trying to be the “model” woman—keeping quiet, trying to please everyone—prevents you from doing things that will get you (and your work) noticed, like taking opportunities and asserting your opinion. And the next time you think about saying something like “I hate working with women” or commenting on how your female boss is “nasty,” remember that women can be guilty of policing behaviour too. No one wins when stereotypes thrive in the workplace.
2
Remember that knowledge is power. “We need to understand how stereotypes affect the way we see other people,” says Kramer. Be aware of how your own communication style plays into biases, for example. When it’s time for an evaluation, are you spending more time complimenting others or are you taking pride in your own wins (which, you guessed it, most men have no qualms about doing)? “You have to own your accomplishments,” says Kramer.
3
Work with other women. Kramer suggests building relationships with women in senior roles at your office who you may not necessarily work with otherwise. “Everybody needs someone who’s going to talk them up,” she says. “The more people in leadership roles who know who you are the more that will advance your career.” Easier said than done, but here is Kramer’s pro tip: Rather than having a formal “Will you be my mentor?” convo, create opportunities to work with someone by volunteering for a special project at work or even a charity you’ve found out they work with. That way you can get to know them and show off your skills.