And If I Don’t? Reimagining the Single Life
Schleitheim Press, 2021. 140 pages. $18
“We choose how we define our singleness.” With that statement, April Klassen challenges the cultural narrative that the single life is to be “in a place of deficit.” While acknowledging her hope for marriage, she cautions against making marriage an ultimate goal.
Having spent 15 years working in 12 different countries with Food for the Hungry Canada and Building Leaders for Peace, as well as with refugee families and at-risk youth in Vancouver, she has not squandered the opportunities singleness offers.
Her experiences have taught her that community, whether family or church, is not about finding a fit that meets individual needs, but something created intentionally through sacrificial love. “So often as singles we wait to be invited in . . . it won’t always happen. There are times when it is our turn as singles to invite others in.”
Klassen also addresses challenges such as sexual temptations, consumerism, FOMO (fear of missing out), loneliness and the distractions of social media that draw our affections away from God.
She writes that “The biblical narrative is all about covenant,” something humans fear could limit our freedom. But it is within the boundaries of our covenantal relationship with God, she asserts, that we enjoy real freedom to enjoy God’s gifts.
The book calls the Church to celebrate and support singles, and to stop segregating people by marital status.
“What if the questions I was most often asked [were] not about whether I wanted to get married or if I had met any cool guys lately, but rather, ‘How is the Spirit leading you in this time of life?’ ” she asks, “and ‘How can the church come around you in those areas to both equip you and pray for you?’ ”