health RELATIONSHIPS

pleasure in listening to my sister’s stories about the drama (often between parents) on the playground. But part of me misses the close relationship we had before her son was born. It’s difficult now to have spontaneous dinners and heart-to-hearts with the person who knows me better than anyone in the world because there is a bedtime schedule to be mindful of.

There are more than enough books and blogs about how a new baby alters careers and domestic partnerships, bodies and sex lives, but I haven’t found anything about confronting the unwanted and unceremonious end to the deep bond of sisterhood or the loss of a friend.

I’m certain I’m not the only childless woman who feels this way. In a 2016 New

York Times article, writer Rebecca Traister notes that as women delay marriage and motherhood, female friendships provide an emotional foundation that romantic friendships often do not. She even goes so far as to suggest that for many women, their friends are their primary partners who have helped them through breakups, moves and many of life’s other dramatic shifts.

Even Hollywood has picked up on the importance of this new sisterhood bond. In Girls Trip, a film starring Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Regina Hall and Tiffany Haddish, four girlfriends rekindle their friendship during a road trip to New Orleans. Clearly, the story resonated with people: It grossed over $100 million at the box office last summer. And in HBO’s

Insecure, the female friendships help each character survive an often-cruel world. It’s in one another’s company that these women find their full authentic selves without the fear of being judged.

Every time a girlfriend calls me to share the news that she’s pregnant, it’s not easy for me to avoid the sinking feeling that our friendship will be put on pause. I hope that one day I’ll again share an intimate bond with these friends; I know I’ll be ready to embrace them with open arms.

(*Name has been changed.)