OFF THE SHELF
In A Brief History of Oversharing (ECW Press), Shawn Hitchins claims that if his naked photos went viral, they’d create a new genre of pornography called pity porn. Dee gets sent to detention for touching Osei’s perfectly shaped skull in New Boy by Tracy Chevalier (Knopf Canada). In Dr. Edith Vane and the Hares of Crawley Hall by Suzette Mayr (Coach House Books), Edith emails Coral to say, “You freak me out and my therapist says I should approach you with caution.” Vengeful criminals once taped a bomb to the car of John F.C.B. Vance, known as Canada’s Sherlock Holmes, according to Blood, Sweat, and Fear by Eve Lazarus (Arsenal Pulp Press). In A Girl Walks Into a Book: What the Brontës Taught Me About Life, Love, and Women’s Work (Seal Press), Miranda K. Pennington asks Heathcliff what he planned to accomplish by spite-marrying his neighbour. Kate Cayley presents a partial list of people who have claimed to be Christ in Other Houses (Brick Books). In #Indianlovepoems (Signature Editions), Tenille K. Campbell’s one-night-stand falls asleep and she wonders: how the fuck do I get him out of here? Thunder rakes in like a Hell’s Angels convoy in I’d Write the Sea Like a Parlour Game by Alison Dyer (Killick Press). Jennifer Still’s grandma swears we should chew everything, even words, in Comma (Bookthug). Eamon Mcgrath slams five shots of vodka at a Polish bar and kisses everyone who brings him boiled potatoes and pickled herring in Berlin-warszawa Express (ECW Press). Ezekiel Bradeau kills readers who don’t like his books in Readopolis by Bertrand Laverdure, translated by Oana Avasilichioaei (Bookthug). In Thin Air of the Knowable by Wendy Donawa (Brick Books), a poet explains the concept of Schrödinger’s cat over wontons and tuna sandwiches. Lovers flicker bareback beneath the full moon in Escape from Wreck City by John Creary (Anvil Press). Boxer broadcasts live from a wooden hut in an A&W parking lot in Rock ’n’ Radio: When DJS and Rock Music Ruled the Airwaves by Ian Howarth (Véhicule Press). Rodney Decroo wants to leap from his skull like a man trapped inside a burning skyscraper in Next Door to the Butcher Shop (Nightwood Editions). Karen Von Hahn worries that her mother will look like a bruised, puffy Star Trek alien after her facelift in What Remains: Object Lessons in Love and Loss (House of Anansi). An old lady tells her drug dealer to trade his do-rag for something more sophisticated—a fedora, perhaps—in Getting Out of Hope by James Cadelli (Conundrum Press). Sunday codes her dying father’s thoughts and words into a powerful computer virus in Malagash by Joey Comeau (ECW Press). According to Owen Beattie and John Geiger in Frozen in Time: The Fate of the Franklin Expedition (Greystone Books), sailors ate fox entrails on a good day and sucked on their mittens on a bad day. Andrew Struthers says that kids smoke weed because of peer review, not peer pressure, in The Sacred Herb / The Devil’s Weed (New Star Books). The dog pisses everywhere the paper hasn’t been laid in Bad Ideas by Michael V. Smith (Nightwood Editions). Linda Besner leaves her pants in the camper of a famous nonconformist in Feel Happier in 9 Seconds (Coach House Books). Daniel sucks wind in the third round of a cage fight in In the Cage by Kevin Hardcastle (Biblioasis).