ANNALS OF PREMIUM BRAND YOGURT
Every once in a while, we at Geist undertake Very Official Tasks, things such as filing, organizing our twenty-eight-year archive and auditing our social media accounts. We frequently discover all manner of interesting ephemera during these VOTS. One such tidbit: in the course of reviewing some of the available data on our Twitter followers’ interests and proclivities, our intern discovered that some of these followers are highly interested in “premium brand natural yogurt.” Now, according to Dairy
Foods magazine, it is millennials, 22- to 37-year-olds, who are responsible for an overall market shift away from non-premium products toward more unctuous, extra creamy, premium types of yogurts to fulfill their dairy needs. So given this interest, naturally we began to wonder if a significant portion of our Twitter audience belongs to this “millennial” demographic group. In doing some research into what we around the office have come to refer to as “this premium yogurt business,” we discovered that millennials are apparently a murderous lot, responsible for “killing,” presumably by failing to purchase or having no desire for, doorbells, napkins, lunch, casual dining chains (including something called a “Breastaurant,” which we’re guessing is Hooters), starter homes, bar soap, cereal, mayonnaise, fabric softener, golf, diamonds and goodness knows what else. But what they do want lots of are “indulgent yogurts that offer lush texture and gourmet flavors… rather than the once dominant low-fat fare geared toward dieters.” Lush texture and gourmet flavours. We can only hope our Twitter followers (and all our readers) see Geist as the full-fat Olympic Dairy or Liberté of Canadian literature.