DATING in the DIGITAL AGE
Who would have thought that relationships would one day begin by waving an imaginary wand at a digital screen, flipping through infinite photos of other humans? That two people could meet by making snap judgements as quickly as they would buying a couch; colour, depth, height, style. Better yet, who would have ever thought that it could actually work? The fact is, dating online works. The spectators from years ago were proven dead wrong… and have probably found their significant other online since then.
Just like everything else in our lives, the digital era has reinvented every nook and corner of the dating scene. Despite the digital revolution, some things truly never change, and when it comes to dating LOVE, thank goodness for that!
Today, if you spend more time with your phone than you do with your friends, it’s considered normal. But what you don’t realize is that with your eyes glued to the screen, you are potentially missing your chance for romance. This addiction to technology leaves you lacking a genuine desire to get to know someone and, given the fast-paced culture — especially that is coupled with dating apps — you’re far less likely to give people a second chance anymore. The irony of being always connected is never truly connecting. You’re not going to find your soulmate through swipes or double taps. You’re going to find them by looking up from your phone and interacting with them—in real life.
That doesn’t mean that you can’t meet someone online. Of course you can, in fact, if you’re not online dating right now, I encourage you to be open to it, to try it, for the main reason that it gives you access to so many people that you wouldn’t otherwise ever cross paths with.
The key is to remember that online dating platforms and apps are tools, not solutions. Something I always say is that online dating is great to facilitate introductions, but it’s also great at ending relationships before they have a chance to begin. A big part of this is because too much gets lost in translation when you try to get to know someone through a series of text messages. Texts strip away almost everything that is vital to communication; the tone of voice, body language, eye contact, smiling, the list goes on. It’s no surprise your best friend is your also your dating CTO (Chief Translation Officer). So, repeat after me: online dating is designed to form introductions, not relationships. In other words, stop dragging things out on dating apps and, instead, get in front of the people you find interesting if you want to give them a real chance.
What makes love so special, so needed, and so desired, is that you can’t design it, force it, or predict it. It has to just happen and there are elements beyond your control that make love happen, like chemistry for one. Note: Chemistry is simply not something you can gauge from a profile photo, it only happens in person.
Now, if you’re like most people, you’re probably hoping for some secret sauce that will spice up your love life. So here goes… drum roll please… just be human. Wait, what? As simple as it sounds, it’s so easy to overlook in the digital age. No bio, no picture and no filter will ever come close to the real deal. Everything that makes you who you are; your smile, personality, interests, desires and sense of humour will all contribute to the chemistry you feel with someone else. Being yourself will work in your favour, trust me.
Some final words before I unleash you back into the digital world of dating: treat others like humans too (not like couches). Develop a curiosity to get to know someone for who they really are. Give people second chances. Remember that you can strike gold when you’re willing to dig beyond the surface. And, from time to time, consider giving your phone the night off.