STOP TRYING to find your PURPOSE
There’s so much pressure these days on ‘finding your purpose.’ We see a lot of mission-driven business owners, people who are always smiling and friends who just seem to have it all figured out. Three years ago I was unemployed after leaving my comfortable corporate job and taking a chance on working for a start-up that tanked and I would roll my eyes at those living their purpose. Sure, it was beautiful to see and I was very happy for them but I wasn’t even sure how I’d get through the day, much less what I ‘meant’ for. Nevertheless, I couldn’t deny that I wanted more — more of myself, more of my relationships, more growth, more happiness, more fulfillment, more success. But, I wasn’t one of the lucky ones whose life’s purpose was known from the get-go. So, I decided to create my own luck and consequently discovered my purpose. In a time where I needed direction I was looking for purpose everywhere. Volunteering, interviews, coffee dates, under couch cushions. Alas, no purpose to be found… until I shifted my perspective. I stopped trying to find it in the outer world and turned my focus inward and went down a path of self-discovery. I emerged with a sense of resonance, empowerment, an action plan and an understanding of what I stood to gain by stepping into my potential. My purpose, the driving force behind who I am, became clear. All of a sudden, I was one of those smiley, mission-driven entrepreneurs. I did it by asking these questions:
What makes you happy?
Stopping to think what makes you smile, what makes you wake up in excitement and go to bed content is important to identify when mapping out your journey. There can be multiple things and they don’t have to be connected but they should be acknowledged and documented so you can incorporate them along your path
What is an energy generator, not an energy drainer for you?
Do more of what fuels you. Life is too short to coast through feeling exhausted. Think about the things you spend time on, or would like to be spending time on, that add to your day rather than detract from it.
When do you feel and perform at your best?
First, acknowledge what ‘best’ feels like for you. Maybe it’s feeling relaxed, living a fast-paced life, being in a classroom, standing on stage, having a regular schedule or traveling the world. Then think about how you can tap into that on a regular basis.
How can I build a career around those things and make them part of my everyday life?
Writer Annie Dillard famously said, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” The reality for many of us is that our days are spent working; in fact, the average person will spend 90,000 hours at work over a lifetime. Working in your sources of happiness, finding ways to stay energized and feel and perform your best will have a huge impact on your quality of life and ensure that the ⅓ of your life spent working is aligned with your purpose.
What limiting beliefs and fears are keeping me from this life or could potentially get in the way of my success?
All the motivation and purposeful intent in the world can be stifl ed if you don’t face what is, or could potentially be, in the way of making it a reality. There are both internal and external factors to consider when thinking about what could get in your way. Pinpoint those ahead of time and have a plan ready if or when you encounter them so you can continue on your journey.
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Remember that you will evolve, and so too may your purpose. You will experience different phases in your life which your sources of motivation will change — young adulthood, parenthood, your professional commitments, changes to your health, just to name a few. This evolution isn’t demonstrative of a lack of devotion, it is natural and should be embraced.
I’m not of the belief that you need a life purpose, or else you’re doomed to go nowhere and live a meaningless and unhappy life. However, I am of the belief that better discovering yourself and what drives you, putting aside what you’ve been conditioned to think happiness and success looks like, will empower you to make life choices that shape you into someone you love and are proud of.
“The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are. The second greatest is being happy with what you find.”
Auliq Ice