Where’s the Remote

New Eight-Pitch 5.10a in B.C.’s Marble Canyon

Brent and I went to Marble Canyon one weekend in April 2019 with the intention of bolting a new route on the lower wall. The Goat had been established as a new 19 pitch 5.9, but not much else was very accessible – or known in the area – that would attract more traffic to this limestone face. We finished up the first day of our weekend with an ascent of The Goat and quested off the next day to find some unclimbed rock to claim as our own.

As we walked along the lower apron, we came across an arête that looked enticing: perfect, compact grey limestone with no signs of previous climbing exploits. We donned the heavy bolting gear that we laboriously carried up to the bottom of the cliff, tied into each end of the rope, and Brent set off into the unknown while bolting on lead.

The first bolt sunk in like butter, forever embedded in the rock. Brent continued on to the next stance, lined up the drill, and fired away. When it came time to hammer in the second bolt, it got stuck half way in and wouldn’t budge, so he tried again a little higher to no avail – Brent’s hammer wasn’t heavy enough to do the job. Now the rock was marred with two bolts that couldn’t be used as any sort of safety. After an expensive trip to Home Depot, we returned on Victoria Day weekend to finish (read: fix) the job. With a bigger hammer, we managed to convince one of the bolts to go in the rock while the other bolt submitted under the forceful blows of the new hammer and a cold chisel.

We finally had traction on the route, steadily forging on until we had the first four pitches behind us. Knowing that only time was between us and finishing our project, we started to think of a name as we returned to the truck to enjoy a cold brew. All sweaty and sticky, I reached into the cooler to grab a beer.

I cracked the can to an explosion of pink, frothy foam, which alerted me that this was not the beer we had bought. After a sip, my taste buds told me that indeed this was a tart ale, and not the crisp, hoppy ale we were anticipating. Although confused (and slightly dismayed), the name of our route – in honour of its namesake brew – became clear: Where’s the Remote? We hope you enjoy it as much as we enjoyed the process.

Pitch One: Start 15 m down and right of Sisyphus on a bolted arête. Climb the arête (stay on arête) past 6 bolts to a two-bolt anchor on a small ledge (5.8 22 m, six bolts).

Pitch Two: Scramble up a fourth-class slab to another two-bolt anchor on the wall beside a large, coniferous tree.

Pitch Three: Begin left of anchor. Climb up to first bolt, then diagonally up right to an arête. Follow arête upward to ledge with a dead tree and two-bolt anchor (5.8 22 m, six bolts).

Pitch Four: Step right from belay, then climb upward to the arête passing two bolts. At the steep wall, clip a high bolt on the left and reach for a jug. Pull up onto the face, then step gingerly left to the arête. Follow the arête past a tree with a cordelette to a two-bolt anchor (5.9 35 m, eight bolts). Move belay 15 m up left to a single bolt belay at the bottom of the slab.

Pitch Five: Climb straight up the pocketed slab to a two-bolt anchor (5.7 35 m, eight bolts).

Pitch Six: Traverse right past a high bolt in the wall to a left-facing corner. Climb up the corner, trending right past three bolts to a good ledge with two-bolt anchor (5.6 20 m, four bolts).

Pitch Seven: Climb up and right from the belay to a bolt. Follow bolts as they meander up though interesting features to a two-bolt anchor on a ledge (5.10a 40 m, 13 bolts).

Pitch Eight: Climb up directly above anchor into a groove. Trend leftward along a crack feature up to a small, overhanging bulge. Pull left over the bottom of the bulge, then up to the arête. Follow arête diagonally rightward to two-bolt anchor (5.9 35 m, 11 bolts). Rappel the route from here or continue to the large, treed terrace. A tree with a cordelette on the terrace will allow you to get back to the last bolted anchor.

Descent: Rappel the route from any pitch with a 60 m rope. From the top of pitch seven, rappel skier’s right to a separate rap anchor on the wall at a small ledge. From there, rappel to the top of pitch five. Rappel skier’s left from the top of pitch five to make it to the mid-route terrace (careful, it’s a rope-stretcher). From the top of pitch four, make a short rappel to the tree with a cordelette then continue down the route. From the top of pitch two, a single 60 m rope will get you skier’s right to a small ledge one-metre off the ground (again, careful, it’s a rope-stretcher).