Notes from the Top
Climbers and Food
I was sitting in the Port Severn Family Restaurant with my brother Dave on our drive home from climbing in Algoma, in Northern Ontario. He looked at his meal the protein between the greasy pieces of bread, and said, “I mostly eat at these places with you.” I knew what he meant; we always eat much better cooking at our camp sites.
Learning how to cook and prepare decent meals on climbing trips didn’t come easily. It took dedication, decades of experimentation and a few near bouts of scurvy to figure out how to cook on the road. Both of us are in our fifties and we have developed into excellent cooks at home. I try to bring as much of homemade food as possible on climbing trips. Being healthy and eating good food didn’t come naturally.
My mother was a terrible cook. Her cooking was rooted in the English method of overcooking everything. If the food lacked taste which most boiled food does, adding lots of salt was her main cure for blandness. The addition of 1970s suburban food into her cooking did not improve the quality of meals at our house. Cheez Whiz, powder milk, Pop- Tarts, sliced bologna and instant coffee were just some of the culinary staples of our home. By Grade 8, I had had enough. I took night cooking classes, so I could learn how to cook for myself.
The knowledge from those classes paid off when I started to climb. During my early days at the Alpine Club of Canada’s Bon Echo hut, we would only bring beer and pie. The older climbers would put their weekend food supply on a shelf near the cooking area. After everyone had gone to bed, we helped ourselves to a few eggs, bacon slices and potatoes. Having learned how to cook with fresh food and spices, I was able to create good meals with few ingredients. Looking back, I would be so angry if some young punks had taken my food. Luckily for us, our victims knew we could not afford food and indulged us. Our passion for climbing gave us some allowance. We were never kicked out for taking food. However, we did get kicked out for numerous other reasons.
The main culinary staples were pre-packaged meals called “Magic Pantry,” some type of ground protein in sauce with little to no vegetables in a metal foil bag. The expiry dates had a shelf life of several years. The attraction of a boiled meal in a bag was that you could boil the bag at the same time as the noodles. In 20 minutes, you had a meal. If you wanted an expensive meal Kraft dinner and a can of Stagg chili mixed together would always guarantee a blend of heart burn and bad gas. The end of a long day of climbing my favourite was can of creamed corn with canned potatoes blended with a can of corn beef. Breakfast would either be cold cereal with powder milk or canned milk. A warm breakfast was fried potatoes and Spam.
The first improvement to this dire situation came from influences from girlfriends. Driving to the Kain hut in the Bugaboos, I explained the beer-and-pie weekend diet to my girlfriend. Her answer was, “There is no way we are doing that.” She introduced me to paprika, curries, coriander, falafel mix, refried beans and coconut milk, just to start. Soon after a trip to Joshua Tree, influences from Mexican food expanded our diet to fresh burritos, tacos and generally fresher food.
The addition of a cooler was the result of meeting legendary American climber Todd Skinner in Joshua Tree. Todd and his crew had bought weeks’ worth of meat. They were a little horrified by my climbing partner Ziggy Isaac’s and my lack fresh food and a cooler. We had 25 lbs. of falafel mix and months’ worth of British canned army rations. We started trading cans of tea biscuits and pudding for fresh meat. Just before Todd left Joshua Tree, they gave us most of their leftover meat. I broke down and bought a foam cooler from a Circle K store.
A cooler was nothing without a stove. My first stove was an Optimus 8R. It was basically a white gas bomb. You poured gas on a full stove, then lit it to heat the fuel tank and increase pressure. There was a constant fear of being killed by a white gas fireball. The stove had a small burner and would only take a small pot that was big enough for one “Magic Pantry” bag.
The next evolution in stoves was a pump fuel tank that didn’t require you to risk your life for a boil-in-the-bag dinner. The fuel pump was attached to the fuel tank which needed constant pumping to maintain a boiling water. The next stage in stoves was the msr models. They had a separate fuel tank with the pump included – much safer but as loud as a small jet.
The ability to cook two dishes at once was the ultimate refinement in cooking on climbing trips. In the early days, the classic Coleman two-burner white gas or propane stoves were out of my budget. The best I could do was to steal my friend Gerry’s twoburner stove. It was a game-changer in the culinary art of cooking on climbing trips. Apologetic, I returned the stove two years later in working order. My latest stove is a stand-up propane burner with a large hot plate fuelled by a nine-kilogram propane tank. This is the pinnacle in car camping. I can’t see how my life could improve from here.
As I pushed in my chair, I took one last look at a half-eaten meal of soggy fries and club house sandwich. Dave stood up and said, “I can’t finish this either.” I thought to myself, Magic Panty was never this bad.
Collingwood-based Reg Smart has been establishing new routes in Ontario for over 40 years.