The Importance of Self-Care to Avoid Burnout

Self-Care is something we all think about doing, something we all say we do, and is something we all wish we did better. For me, self-care was one of the hardest things to learn, because I grew up being told to “always put others before yourself.”

This is one of the worst things you can learn, because to help people you need to make sure your cup is full.

I have always put others before myself, until the past few years, when I learned quickly what burnout was. So, before I share my selfcare, I will give you a tiny bit of background. I am a mother of two, which is a full-time job. I am a business owner, a community connector, storyteller and advocate for change. I run a magazine called Community Now! Magazine and spend every day connecting with leaders, innovators, and community advocates who are making change across various ecosystems.

I have the best job because I spend my time learning, connecting people and sharing people’s stories and knowledge. My passion is storytelling and connecting people so that we learn, grow and create a better world for everyone. I host events to bring people together so that people have multiple platforms to connect and share. And I push for change within our mental health system, our legal systems, and all aspects of our society, because I know we can be better and make changes for everyone.

Even if it’s through sharing only one story at a time.

Self-care became a priority for me over the past few years because I was—and still am—dealing with being dragged through our family legal system, while trying to raise two kids full-time on my own and while running and growing a business. I hosted one of our mental health events, and ironically enough, I internally crashed and burned. When your body or mind decides to crash and burn, you have no choice but to go down.

For me, learning the practice of self-care was a challenge for multiple reasons. For example, I found that learning to put myself first was hard. Also, when you can’t sit still and people tell you that self-care is practicing

stillness, such as meditation, you fail. Self-care, like everything else, can require a learning curve. But once you figure out what you need for your own self-care, you will be re-energized and your bucket will be full, instead of empty all the time!

WHAT SELF CARE LOOKS LIKE

I have learned to practice four different kinds of self-care: daily self-care, weekly self-care, postevent self-care, and emergency self-care.

Daily self-care

Things I do every day to ensure I stay on track, focused and happy, such as:

Making my bed

A walk

Play piano or drums

Have coffee alone

Read the news

Weekly self-care

Things I do once a week, such as: Inspirational conversation with another person from my community about life, business or current events (a conversation with no agenda)

Bubble baths with candles and music, at least twice a week to wind down and pause

Hike or long walk in the mountains when it’s warm outside

Post event self-care

Important 1-3 days after planning, running, and hosting an event, such as:

Sleep - I take a whole day off and shut everyone and everything off

Watch movies in bed and relax

Emergency self-care

Implement after a hard day, such as:

30 minutes to 1 hour alone a drive a walk a phone call or zoom call with someone who will pump you up and help you walk through the process of what’s next

Self-care is what helps you be the best “you,” when I was learning about self-care. Some people say it’s meditation, fitness, or getting pampered at a spa (which we all need from time to time), but for me it is about how can I make my days easier.

And as I began to practice these four forms of self-care listed above, it became the backbone in keeping myself focused throughout of week. To help myself stay on top of it, I started a to-do list—because they make me happy—and I created a new routine. Then every time I did something that made me happy, or inspired me or helped me relax, I added it to this list.

My self-care and your self-care will look different—but remember that self-care is for you! And not for anyone else. It needs to be what you need, what helps you, what makes you feel better, and what gives you time for you.

Fun Fact: Making your bed may not seem like self-care, but it is. Here is why … I had a year of change (not a bad thing—a HARD thing), I fell and couldn’t get out of my head. I still had kids to look after, bills to pay, a business to run, and I felt like I couldn’t do any of it. But one thing I could do was make my bed every day after I woke up. This allowed me to accomplish two things:

I had to get out of bed to make it!

I made the bed and could put a check mark beside it on my to do list, so every day, even If I didn’t accomplish anything else, I still accomplished something.

Self-care starts with something simple. It doesn’t have to be expensive or time consuming, but it has to be about you and only you.

Three quotes that I carry everywhere with me are:

“Until thought is linked with purpose, there is no intelligent accomplishment.” – James Allen

“Fall forward.” – Denzel Washington

“Connect the dots backwards.” – Steve Jobs