Work out differences when it comes to sex
During an evening of clubbing, my gorgeous wife of one year, age 20, was touchyfeely with a young attractive female who danced with us.
I suggested (facetiously) that we should consider a threesome. My wife laughed and said she’d make that happen for my upcoming 47th birthday. Little did I know she was serious!
Now, she’s insisting that it’ll be a “sexually liberating” feeling for her as well. To compromise, I suggested that the two women can perform a strip show for my birthday, but I’m not interested in any sexual intimacy with a third-party.
My wife disagrees. She wants me to have intercourse with this stranger in her presence! Despite our age gap, we have great chemistry. I foresee a lifelong blissful relationship with her, including having children in the near future.
I’m opposed to this threesome nonsense.
I think the aftermath will severely damage the sacred trust and unbreakable bond that we share.
I believe that these things are best left in fantasyland.† But I also don’t want to upset my wife. What should I do?
– In the Middle
Your age difference may work day-to-day, but it’s suddenly exposed a clash of values.
She’s focused for now on only one part of you. I’m asking instead, where’s your backbone?
She wants erotic excitement and dismisses your concerns for marital trust and bonding. You’re dreaming of babies, she’s nowhere near anticipating that stage.
If refusing to have sex with another woman actually would “hurt” your wife, you’ve got a bigger problem than this one decision presents.
She doesn’t really know you (which is why your “facetious” joke was taken too seriously).
Tell her this sex show isn’t going to happen, not with you. State your boundaries for yourself, and what you can’t accept in your wife either.
This birthday “gift” isn’t meant just for you, it’s for her sexual “liberation.” Time to ask whatever that means to her.
TIP OF THE DAY
If a couple has opposing values regarding sexual behaviour, they need to agree on boundaries or there’s trouble ahead.