How many sex­ual part­ners are con­sid­ered to be too many?

Journal Pioneer - - ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT - Read El­lie Mon­day to Satur­day. Email el­lie@ thes­ Fol­low @el­liead­vice. El­lie Tesher

Read­ers re­sponded to the ques­tion asked by “Moral Com­pass” How many sex­ual part­ners are con­sid­ered too many? (June 16): Reader: “Be­fore I’d turned 20, my first true love com­mit­ted sui­cide and left me with a gap­ing empti­ness that I couldn’t process prop­erly, then. “I went through a short phase of par­ty­ing, ex­ces­sive drink­ing, drug use, at­tempt­ing to numb the pain I was feel­ing. “I also had mul­ti­ple sex­ual part­ners in a short time be­cause I couldn’t cope with my lone­li­ness and wanted to feel SOME­THING. “This be­hav­iour con­tin­ued for sev­eral months be­fore close friends helped me rec­og­nize the dan­ger­ous life­style I was liv­ing. “I saw doc­tors, en­sured I was free of STI’s (sex­u­ally trans­mit­ted in­fec­tions) and did what I could to turn my life around. “Be­cause of this, I’d had more sex­ual part­ners prior to turn­ing 20 than I was com­fort­able about. “When new re­la­tion­ships started to form and pasts were dis­cussed, many peo­ple couldn’t see past the num­ber of part­ners I’d had in such a short time. “Those con­nec­tions of­ten ended be­fore they re­ally had a chance to be­gin. “This was due to harsh judge­ment rather than an hon­est un­der­stand­ing of a trau­matic event that still, to­day, af­fects me. “I’m al­most 40 now, and though my “num­ber” is high, very few will take into ac­count that most of those sex­ual con­tacts hap­pened in a three-to-four-month span. “In the 20 years af­ter, I’ve only had three new sex­ual part­ners. “I made those younger choices in the mo­ment, but does that mean I de­serve to be judged for them for the rest of my life? “Per­haps ‘Moral Com­pass’ and the group of friends dis­cussing this, should be open to re­al­iz­ing that a per­son shouldn’t be judged by the choices they made, but how they’ve learned to grow be­cause of them. “Noth­ing is as sim­ple as “a num­ber.”

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