Seek support from those who believe you when abuse is involved

I was abused by someone in a religious sect when I was a child.

I tried to tell my mom, but she didn’t believe me.

After finding out about sex abuse laws, I again tried telling my parents about my past abuse.

But they said all of the victims are liars, which means they think I’m a liar. How can I get them to believe me?

– Still Hurting

Sadly, if your parents are/ were involved with that religious group, they’re refusing to accept that you could’ve been harmed by anyone who held their same belief system.

Parental disbelief has been the harsh and demeaning response to many girls and boys who’ve been abused by religious teachers and leaders who were supposed to teach them a moral way of life.

Even in 2018, Pope Francis began his response to such crimes by accusing now-adult abuse victims who came forward, of having fabricated allegations about Catholic Church priests.

But by last August, he expressed “shame and sorrow” for the tragic history.

Your parents should also express great sorrow that sexual abuse happened to you. Most young children don’t even have the words to lie about an assault on their body’s privacy.

But with so many “Me Too” stories being revealed by women and men, describing the humiliation, fear, shame, and ongoing trauma, your parents must be purposefully tone-deaf to not believe that this did happen to you.

You’d benefit from finding a sexual assault support group to share feelings and how to cope with them.

Then, perhaps, you can try your parents again. If they still refuse to accept your truth, close that door emotionally.

If you still need them in your life, accept that their stubborn disbelief is also part of the tragedy of sexual abuse.

You were never the problem. You’re not a liar.

Tip of the Day

Get support and comfort from people who believe you. Ignore those who can’t accept the truth.