Alzheimer’s and the holiday season
Here we are in the middle of the holiday season — a time when family and friends often come together. The hustle and bustle of shopping, planning and expectations of that perfect celebration make for a joyful and stress-filled time of the year.
Families living with Alzheimer’s and other dementias may find this time of year challenging. Take some time and talk to the person with dementia and those planning holiday activities to ensure a pleasant holiday experience for all.
In the early stage of Alzheimer’s, a person may experience only minor memory changes and friends and relatives may not notice any changes. It is important to check in with the person who has dementia to find out if adjustments need to be made to holiday celebrations. Sometimes a person with dementia will be reluctant to join in large gatherings due to difficulties following many conversations and activities. Sometimes the person with dementia will want to participate as always but will need help from close family to not interrupt or correct them and to give time and patience for the person to finish their thoughts.
During the middle or later stages of Alzheimer’s, there may be significant changes in cognitive abilities. These changes may be difficult to accept for a friend or relative who may not have had recent contact. It is important visitors understand these changes in behaviour and memory are caused by the disease and not the person. As a caregiver to someone with dementia you may want to let visitors know about the changes before they visit. An email or a phone call with a short message such as: “You may notice ____ has changed since you last saw him/her. Among the changes you may notice are ...” Or “please treat ____ as you would any other person. A warm smile and a gentle touch will mean more than you know.”
For additional suggestions on how to let others know about changes, contact your local Alzheimer Society or go online to www.alzheimer.ca.
Aim for flexibility in your holiday celebrations. Some of the responsibilities of caregiving and expectations to maintain holiday traditions may take a toll on your well-being and the person with dementia. Adjust the expectations. Make sure family and friends know what you can and cannot do. Give yourself permission to do only what you can reasonably manage. If you have always hosted large gatherings with many traditional elements you may want to host a smaller group or ask someone else to host. Maybe a potluck or a lunch instead of dinner would work well. While change is difficult a shift in traditions may create a more calming environment and minimize the stress of the holiday.
Above all, be kind to yourself and the person with dementia and may your holiday season be a positive experience filled with warmth and good wishes for the new year.
For further information, contact the Alzheimer Society of Alberta and NWT Lethbridge at 403-329-3766 or