Celebration of life
This week I attended an event to honour my friend who died two months ago. There were so many things that caught my attention during the evening!
First of all, I noted the long lineup of individuals who were waiting to get into the facility that wasn’t open yet. Some knew each other but few seemed to know why the others were there and what connection they had with Debbie.
A register was at the door so that we could sign for the family to review afterwards. The widower greeted each guest and received hugs that I don’t believe would have been offered in other circumstances.
There was a slide show playing in a loop that showed various photos from the past five decades and a poster-sized photo of Debbie with the dates of her birth and death below it.
After a beautiful lunch consisting of many cold and hot dishes, the widower and his five daughters thanked the guests for attending. Then they took turns reading a long letter from Debbie’s best friend who reviewed the family history and described the friendship she had enjoyed with them.
Guests sat in small groups and talked about the connections and information they had experienced as well as predictions for the future of the family members.
The whole thing made me think about the way that we live our lives. It isn’t very often that we have similar celebrations for people who are still alive. Perhaps a graduation or retirement, special birthday or anniversary would bring together friends and family, but it isn’t very often that we have a big event just to celebrate the life or someone who we really care about who is still living.
Why do we save our hugs, positive comments and ways of honouring others until they are gone?
I have always been an advocate for funerals, which are becoming more and more rare. I believe that funerals are not for the dead but for those who remain. Over the years, I have enjoyed being with cousins and friends rarely seen because we have gathered together at funerals. We always state that efforts to get together should go beyond grief — but they seldom do.
Unfortunately, we let our busyness and circumstances distract us from connecting with those who we claim are important to us. How sad!
And we often don’t tell people face-to-face how much they mean to us or how they have impacted our lives.
Celebration of life should not be attached only to death, and speaking love should not be reserved until it is too late for the person to hear it. You don’t have to rent a room, prepare food or create a slideshow to say what is in your heart.
What can you do this week to reach out to others and honour the relationships you have enjoyed with them? It doesn’t take a lot of time or money to give genuine words of thanks and express gratitude for their influence and presence.
Let’s always remember the importance of celebrating life every day of our lives! It is mutually beneficial because it makes everyone feel valued.
Dr. Linda Hancock, the author of “Life is An Adventure…every step of the way” and “Open for Business Success” is a Registered Psychologist who has a private practice in Medicine Hat. She can be reached at 403-529-6877 or through email office@drlindahancock.com