Will St. Patrick offer masses succour?
Roy rumour good news for sanctified scribes, but it could turn into a hellish nightmare
People who write, broad- cast and pontificate about hockey should be thrilled by the prospect of Patrick Roy moving upriver to become coach of the Canadiens.
The Hall of Fame goaltender has always been what was known, in the days of press cards in the brims of fedoras and mickeys in the hip pockets of gaberdine trousers, as “good copy.”
Brash, temperamental, opinionated, Roy is never at a loss for words. And if the utterances are of one syllable, so much the better for the attendant media masses wielding notebooks, microphones and cameras.
The absence of those hip flasks was felt acutely during recent Canadiens hockey seasons. Postgame press conferences would have been more entertaining were media wretches and wretchettes able to play the Jacques Martin Drinking Game, in which you do a shot every time the coach uses the words “évidemment” or “process.”
The excitement level at a Martin press briefing peaked when the PR guy asked for cellphones to be turned off. A few beeps, and we all settled down into Sleepy Hollow.
At the risk of damning the immensely likable “interim” Canadiens coach with faint praise, Randy Cunneyworth is more quotable than his predecessor. But Roy would take coach’s commentary to a whole other level – and he’d do it in the language spoken by the considerable majority of Canadiens fans.
Martin Leclerc broke the story in his Radiocanada.ca blog. Leclerc, a fine journalist who does not make stuff up, quoted unnamed sources to the effect that Canadiens principal owner Geoff Molson had concluded a deal with Roy to coach the team.
Roy has denied the story. His name has been frequently floated, however, among pundits and fans who believe Cunneyworth has been a lame duck since Molson’s statement to the effect that command of French is a basic qualification for coach- ing the team.
Had the Canadiens caught fire under Cunneyworth and fashioned a deep playoff run, the coach may have been able to enrol at Berlitz this summer with the goal of learning enough French to answer questions about the 2012-13 team at training camp.
A glance at the Eastern Conference standings reveals Cunneyworth has not been able to fashion a turnaround – in contrast to Carolina, where mastery of the language of Molière was not required of Kirk Muller. But I digress.
Montreal is not a southern basketball town. Içi, on parle hockey.
The language criterion shortens the number of coaching candidates, but there are intriguing names: Marc Craw-ford, bobhartley, guycarbonneau, Michel Therrien, Benoit Groulx, Pascal Vincent … and, if the 2011 Stanley Cup finalists suffer early round exits this spring, Claude Julien and Alain Vigneault.
Roy sits atop many lists. But while some of my learn- ed press box confreres relish the prospect of a colourful Canadiens coach, I harbour a few reservations:
By virtue of his celebrity and outsized personality, Roy would deflect attention away from his players. This might be a good thing if the Canadiens were a collection of has-beens and never-weres settling into a long-term stay in the nether regions of the Eastern Conference.
IMHO, that is not the case. The Canadiens are better than their woeful record suggests and will be better still with a healthy Andrei Markov in the opening-night lineup next season.
Carey Price is the cornerstone of the Canadiens. The goaltender has not enjoyed a lights-out season, and Price’s failings have brought residual Jaroslav Halak loyalists – so mercifully silent a year ago – out of the woodwork and in full bray.
Tell you what: Put Price in nets for the St. Louis Blues and let Halak play behind a defence that, until Markov’s return, featured a Top Two and a Bottom Five. Then we’ll compare stats.
Price has a good relationship with low-key goaltending coach Pierre Groulx. Although he’s closing in on 300 regular-season and playoff starts, Price is only 24 – a toddler in goaltender years, still honing the talent that will make him a monster when he’s 30.
Would Price’s development be enhanced by playing for a Hall of Fame goaltender? How would his laid-back personality mesh with the barely suppressed rage of Roy?
His winning record in the Q notwithstanding, Roy has never coached a game in the NHL. Recent history suggests the Canadiens do not fare well with rookies behind the bench.
Julien and Vigneault honed the chops that have served them well elsewhere. Therrien flamed out in Pittsburgh, where the Penguins have thrived under Dan Bylsma. Carbo and Mario Tremblay do their coaching on L’antichambre.
Coming off their worst sea- son since the 70-point debacle of 2000-01, the Habs cannot afford to make a mistake behind the bench. A coaching choice, however, should be No. 2 on the team’s priority list.
Geoff Molson’s first order of business is hiring a general manager to replace Pierre Gauthier. And the new GM should name his own coach.
The odd and, in no small degree, troubling aspect of the Roy rumour is the implied possibility that St. Patrick would be coming back to Montreal to work with the incumbent GM and with former teammate and fellow Hall of Famer Bob Gainey.
So Roy yells and throws sticks on the ice, keeping everyone entertained while up on the seventh floor of the Bell Centre, Gainey and Gauthier work on acquiring the next Tomas Kaberle.
Pick your metaphor to describe that nightmare scenario:
Would Molson be putting lipstick on a pig or polishing a turd?