Family unsympathetic to fear of dogs
Dear Annie: Five years ago, an encounter with a large, vicious dog put me in the ER and left me with lasting scars, physical and otherwise. I’m almost 20 now. I can pet and play with small, quiet dogs, but larger ones strike panic in me. I cringe when I hear barking. I still have nightmares and sometimes feel phantom pains where I was attacked. Spending time with my parents’ medium-sized dog doesn’t help, especially since it has bitten people before.
I never got professional help, because I was told shortly after the attack that I needed to “get over it.” I feel no one understands my fear. Besides, I don’t have money for therapy. What can I do? Terrified
Dear Terrified: People who tell you to “get over it” don’t understand the extent of the problem. Your fear is not irrational. You were viciously bitten, and such a trauma is hard to overcome. The fact that you can pet and play with small dogs is quite an achievement. If you regularly encounter larger dogs and wish to work on your fear, please know that low-cost therapy is available. Ask your doctor, and check your church and United Way. You can even search online for tips on overcoming phobias.
Dear Annie: I own property out of state. I use it mostly in the summer, but it’s checked on at least once a month. My neighbour there is married to a woman who is no longer friends with me, but we’re civil to each other. The problem is, she thinks she’s entitled to dig up and take or remove any of my plants, shrubs, gravel, etc. Every season, I check the garden to make sure nothing else is missing. I took great pride in my garden of perennials and enjoyed the fruits of my hard work. Last fall, I noticed the daylilies were pulled right out of the ground.
This has been going on for years. Every season gets more frustrating. I bought an outside camera (not installed) and left her a note saying I had contacted the police, but it hasn’t made any difference. Any suggestions?
At the End of My Rope
Dear End: Are you sure the wife is doing this? Could it be local animals or some other culprit? We strongly recommend you install that camera and find out what’s going on. If you get proof, talk to the husband and ask him to discuss it with his wife. You also can take it to the police. This is trespassing and theft, and it’s against the law.