85 fans can’t throw faster than old man Moyer
Golden oldies: West Vancouverites Olga Kotelko, 93, and Christa Bortignon, 75, accounted for 19 of Canada’s 22 gold medals at the World Indoor Masters Championships in Finland. As Kotelko SEATTLE – Jamie Moyer’s fastball is slow by big-league standards, but it’s not Joe Blow slow. The Class A Fort Myers Miracle offered any fan who could throw faster than 78 mph – the 49-year-old Moyer’s top speed when he became the oldest pitcher to win a big-league game – a free ticket to a Miracle game. Alas, about 85 took the challenge – and the top speed was 76. Card collector: Vancouver comic Torben Rolfsen, on a New Jersey man paying $1.2 million for a 1909 Honus Wagner baseball card: “Now he just needs Jamie Moyer to finish the set.” Stat of the day: No New York Met has ever thrown a no-hitter – but seven ex-mets later did. Just asking: Anyone else out there have Philip Humber in the perfect-game pool? Headlines of the week: Two from Sportspickle.com: “Brendan Shanahan has suspended the pane of glass that hit David Krejci” and “Canucks too disappointing to even riot over.” He’s taking a licking: The glue is barely dry on Ted Williams’s new commemorative postage stamps, and Red Sox fans are already grumbling. As in, how many would it take to mail Bobby Valentine out of town? Go, Dolphins, go! Greg Cote of the Miami Herald, on the qualifications needed to become a Dolphins cheerleader: “Be good dancers, have vivacious personalities and think field goals are awesome.” Going for the gold: U.S. skier Lindsey Vonn owed $1,705,437 in back taxes? “Forget raising your child as a left-handed pitcher,” wrote Gregg Drinnan of the Kamloops Daily News. “Let’s go skiing.” praised Bortignon to the Vancouver Sun: “She is made for track and field. She just jumps like an elk.” Flying elbows: NBC’S Jay Leno, on Metta World Peace’s suspension: “I haven’t seen an NBA player take an elbow like that since Kris Humphries got between Kim Kardashian and a camera.” A league of their own: As if there aren’t enough pro offerings already, America now has an Ultimate Frisbee league. Cracked NBC’S Jimmy Fallon: “It’s the only sport where players get tested to make sure they use drugs.” Subway Series II: A Manhattan Subway store made headlines with its sculpted Robert Griffin III sandwich made up of barbecue chicken, lettuce, tomatoes and chili peppers. Jets fans, not to be outdone, are demanding a Tebow version, with two fish and five loaves of bread. Super-size it, please: University of Florida basketball player Erving Walker must pay $301 in court costs for stealing a $3 taco, a judge ruled. In other words, prosecutors requested a sentence with everything on it. Brainstorm Bonanza: “Would love to host SNL and would donate pay to greenpeace,” tweeted ex-slugger Jose Canseco. “Does anyone know how to contact Lorne Greene? Please help me make it happen! Hugs.” Can’t be of any help with the TV gig, Jose, but Lorne was last seen with Hoss and Little Joe. Heads up, bidders: Canseco’s infamous Rangers cap – the size 7½ he wore on May 26, 1993, when Carlos Martinez’s fly ball bounced off his head and over the fence for a home run – was put up for bid by Heritage auctions. retro fitted protective cup not included. Country Joe & the Fists: Why the grousing about all the fisticuffs in the NHL playoffs? “This is like people complaining about the rain at Woodstock,” Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke told USA Today. “Yes, there was lots of mud, but it was the greatest music gathering in history.”