PARENTS OF CHILDREN WHO DROWN
Families of seven children who drowned during the past three weeks face profound guilt and stigma, social worker says
FACE ENDURING TRAUMA, STIGMA: ‘NOBODY IS GOING TO JUDGE THESE PARENTS MORE THAN THEMSELVES.’
“At the best of times, when a parent loses a child, they have guilt whether it’s rational or not. Now magnify that a thousandfold.” SOCIAL WORKER ANGELIKI SOURANIS
The death of a child by drowning is one of the most unique and enduring forms of trauma that a parent can experience, says one expert, and even the most seasoned counsellors and support groups can find it difficult to help them come to terms with the loss.
“I think the nature of (drowning) death is very unique,” said Angeliki Souranis, a Montreal social worker who works frequently with parents coping with the recent death of a son or daughter. “Seeing your child at the bottom of the pool, the attempts at reanimation. I mean, that’s going to stay with these parents for an immeasurably long time.”
Such is the difficult road ahead for the families of seven children younger than 5 who have drowned dur- ing the past three weeks in Quebec. Wednesday was a particularly deadly day, with two 2-year-olds plunging into backyard pools within hours of each other. Attempts to revive them were unsuccessful.
The spate of deaths has occurred during an unusually hot spring and summer in the province, and has renewed calls for aggressive public education campaigns and more accessible water safety courses for children. It has also prompted stern reminders from officials that keeping an eye on kids near the water’s edge is crucial. The Lifesaving Society of Canada has issued repeated warnings that it can take only seconds for children to toddle away unnoticed and tumble into water that is over their heads – and just a few more before they slip under.
“Our initial reaction is: What could the parents possibly be thinking?” said Souranis of the typical response from a member of the public when they hear about this type of accident. She likening drownings to incidents where parents forget their children in vehicles on hot summer days, resulting in death by overheating.
“The stigma helps us to distance ourselves, to think we would never do anything like that,” she said.
What remains after the paramedics, police investigators, child services officials and journalists leave, Souranis said, is a family coping not only with grief, but often with profound feelings of guilt, anger or shame. If one parent was present when the child drowned and the other was not, it can also put enormous stress on their relationship. Families can get help at local clinics, hospitals or private counselling centres, but wherever they go, Souranis said it’s crucial that they are treated with compassion.
“Let me tell you, nobody is going to judge these parents more than themselves,” she said.
“At the best of times, when a parent loses a child, they have guilt whether it’s rational or not. Now magnify that a thousandfold, because the reality is that (drowning) is a moment of negligence.”
Whether or not that negligence could be considered criminal is a question that police investigators and Quebec’s office in charge of criminal prosecutions (DPCP) must answer relatively quickly after a child drowns at home. Police forces in the province investigate drownings like any other accidental death, said DPCP spokesperson Jean Pascal Boucher.
“Once a file is submitted to us by investigators, obviously we analyze it and we see if, based on the facts and the existing laws, there was a criminal action,” he explained. “Every file must be examined individually.”
Boucher did not know if there had been any cases in recent years where parents had been charged with negligence following a drowning in Quebec, and said he could offer no comment on possible charges related to any of this summer’s incidents.
There are, however, precedents for parents being prosecuted after a child died in an overheated car, and in a recent case in Ontario, a 58-year-old man was charged with criminal negligence causing death after a neighbour’s child wandered into his backyard and fell into a pond that was not fenced off as required by law.
In Quebec, the law states that any pool constructed after 2010 must be equipped with a fence.
Lifesaving Society spokesperson Raynald Hawkins said his organization’s stance is that charges should not be laid solely as a deterrent.
“If we see a parent leaving a child alone in the pool, then we could start talking about negligence,” he said. “But, for us, the best way to prevent drownings of young children is education.”